Happiness is...

03-05-2010 Friday

My life is far from perfect right now but I can say that in spite of the minor bumps along the way, I'm still getting along just fine. Thanks to the strength that's given to me by my prayers. Other people who has known the bad side of me would find it hard to believe that I am a religious person, well, I can't blame them, judging some posts of mine in this blog when I curse non stop, but hey, anyone can be like that when angered.

Happiness has eluded me for awhile and I realized now that I don't need to look hard just to find my happiness, sometimes, amidst all the bad things that happen around me, happiness is simply hiding beyond the shadows, just waiting to step out and light your dreary path. With everything that I'm going through now, at first I thought that being happy is something that's hard to achieve but then I'm starting to learn that happiness is always around the corner, hiding behind the ordinary things we barely notice because we're too preoccupied with our miseries.

Why would I worry myself with all the problems when I still have some things to smile about? Simple as that. I have a decent job, (even though it's killing me sometimes), I have a supportive gramma, I have a bubbly loving pet, Damien, and Alex is coming back to me.

He doesn't have an idea how much I value the little nice things he's showing. I am hoping that this is the beginning of him going back to what he used to be. I'm observing all the messages he's sending me, and so far, I'm liking what I'm reading. The cold messages were gone, and he was back to the old caring Alex which is a good sign.

What will make me happier is the answer to my prayers, for Alex to share the same beliefs I have. I pray whenever I get the chance, I wouldn't get tired when I'm asking for something I badly want. I want him to be the one for real, I'm madly in love and I haven't felt this way for anyone before. It makes me happy, scared, hopeful, nervous and everything all at the same time.

Sometimes I wonder if this is really how love feels, if so, then I'll be damned because I am not really prepared for it. All I know is to have fun, to enjoy my youth, to be goddamn immature about certain things. I used to think that love happens some time in your late twenties, I mean that's the age when you feel ready to settle down right? That's the stage in your life when you're more mature, more than prepared for love and you're just waiting for your Mr. or Ms. Right to come along, and off you go on board the love boat.

I'm fighting for my happiness. I've waited for it for so long and I don't intend to let it go. I'm happy to be in love, and you fellas who don't believe that I can fall in love, better leave me alone.

Labels: alex, Damien, happiness, happy, love, pink crimson

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 3:53 AM