Year End Blast

12-31-2009 Thursday

When I get off from work, I didn't feel like myself. I'm still thinking about how to get over Alex, if in case he chose not to come for the New Year. I felt like I was a walking stick without any bones, or any internal organs, I felt like my body is made of thin paper that I could rip at the slightest gust of wind. I walked to the bus station, hailed a bus and rode in it.

The bus ride reminded me of the time when I was with Alex the first time we went out on a date. He kept on looking at me as if he's memorizing every details in my face and as I remember that, my eyes began to water, thinking how much it hurts for me to see him change. The Alex that he used to be seemed to be so different to the Alex that I have now.

People around me has this stupid grin on their faces, looking like little kids eager to see Santa pop out of the chimney. Why is it that I can't be happy at this time of the year when everyone else is? I smiled weakly to myself as I saw a couple in the street, walking together enjoying a simple window shopping at the stalls of tiangge where the bus has passed by. I thought how great it is to be with someone you love while everyone else is counting down the hours before the year ends.

I went home alone, still feeling like I have paper bones, ate, and slept. i woke up to the sound of my cellphone ringing. It was Alex. I answered, wincing at the sound of my groggy voice. I told him I'll be waiting for him. He was about to reason out again when I interrupted him, I don't need reasons, I said, this is the last time I'm gonna wait. And the line went dead.

The sound of the firecrackers and the moaning voice of a neighbor belting it out on the videoke made it impossible for me to go back to sleep so I got out of bed, went outside to call work to tell ém to suck it to their faces but I ain't coming to work while everyone else is with their families, enjoying the New Year. After calling, I headed back home, read the book that my colleague lent me and be absolutely boring.

At around 8:30, Vanessa, my best friend, visited like what she always do every New Year. She brought some food with her; spaghetti, brownies and fruit salad. I began eating as I told her what's going on between me and Alex. We talked some more, and after an hour, she left and for the first time this day, I felt happy.

Since it's just me and my gramma, we didn't plan to do anything when the clock hit 12, maybe we'll just go out to watch the fireworks and that's about it. That was changed when my gramma's brother picked us up to celebrate New Year with them. That's where we used to live so I felt excited to see some old neighbors and friends.

I'm glad I did go with them. It was fun. I hang out with my old friends slash old neighbors and it was like a small reunion. The fireworks become extravagant by 12 midnight and I was laughing with everyone else as we watch some guy imitate some Micheal Jackson move at a nearby street party.

It was fun while it lasted, then, I'm back to being hopeful. I kept on looking at my watch, counting down the minutes, waiting for Alex. My uncle took us back home and I continued to wait. Wait.. Wait..

Labels: alex, blast, fireworks, fun, New Year, vanessa

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 2:39 AM