Single for a Week

12-16-2009 Wednesday

Yep, it has been a week now and I still feel like I'm single. No going out for a date, or a stroll in the mall. No motorcycle parked outside our house. It's just me, this pc, the troubles lingering inside this house and the irritating noise of children playing outside.

Yesterday, Alex tried calling me a dozen times but I ignored it, well first, I still don't wanna talk to him and second, he's calling me at 2 o'clock in the freaking morning. In the afternoon, I did text him, asking him how he is to which he immediately replied, which is something new to him. He even asked on my whereabouts yesterday and I thought that the reason why he asked is because he will come to our house so we can talk. He didn't. He didn't say that he's gonna come anyway but I expected because of the way he asked me.

I waited the entire day for any signs of him but there was none. He didn't tell me what he was doing and I didn't bother to ask. I don't give a fuck anymore if he's somewhere kissing someone else's ass just to make money that is never used to pamper me. When he has money, he spends it for himself or for our motorcycle, okay that's fine with me but still, I'm half-expecting him to treat me or something.

Today, I woke up early. I checked my cellphone and there's another missed call from him again, at 4:00 in the morning. What is this guy up to? For three days now, he seems to be awake from 1 to 4 in the morning. There's nothing left for me to do but continue my life as it is and if he's gonna come, if he's gonna talk to me, then I'm willing to talk to him. I got tired of waiting for him. I am exhausted from too much failed expectations. The burden that I have now, feels like the weight of the world on my shoulders and I don't want anything that will add up to it.

Labels: alex, burden, expectations, love, pink crimson

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 5:29 PM