The Power of Written Words

12-07-2009 Monday

I'm currently busy writing a detailed letter about the tragic day of my mom's escape from reality. I plan to send it to someone who might be able to help us out with our situation once he read about what happened. Whoever that someone is, I don't plan to give out any details. A blog is still something that can be read by anyone who has access to the internet and it's still safer for me to not tell everything in this online journal of mine. Some things are still considered private and I plan to keep it that way.

Anyway, what I wanna talk about is how powerful writing is for me. While I was writing those things in paper awhile ago, I feel like I'm reliving the days, watching it all unfold in front of me. I remember everything clearly, in details, from the feelings I've felt to the faces of the people involved, even the face of the person who wasn't there when I needed him most. It's astounding how simply writing those things can bring back so many unwanted memories and for a second, I had a feeling that the nightmares will stop by to visit me later this evening when I'm in bed.

I even felt my hands that gripped the pen, tremble a bit from spilling out too many emotions on that one sheet of long white paper. I wasn't just writing the words, I was taken back to that day when everything was happening in slow motion. The pain, anger, hopelessness and fear are all coming back and I had to stop once in awhile to force myself to tear away from that dark memory.

I believe that the person I plan to send it to will also feel the array of emotions I had while writing that letter. I'm certain of that and I firmly believe that he will be able to help us out. He's one of the last hope that I wanted to cling to. He's one of the silver lining beyond the dark clouds. My only wish is that he'll receive the letter in time.

This timing couldn't be more ironically perfect for me. The month when almost everyone is jolly, merry and too fucking happy for the holiday seasons, I feel like I'm left alone carrying the weight of the world in my shoulders. Well, I know it's not just me. Some people's pain are greater than mine, some people's situation are worse so who am I to complain. I'm just one of the few that are chosen to grieve while everyone else laughs. Ironic as it may seem but it happens.


(HOPELESS DREAM)
found it on the net. says it all.

Labels: blogging, december, holiday, letter, pain, pink crimson

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 1:40 AM