Endings

11-30-2009 Monday

The month ends today. Then, it'll be December. Then, before we know it, it's a new year again. How time flies and yet I still feel the same. Ever since I found out about my mom's illness, which is something that I plan to keep private, it seemed like my world has frozen to a tormenting stop. Nothing moves. Nothing changes. I remain the same.

Silence. Painful silence. I'm at the point where I want to move forward but a lot of things are holding me back. People. Consequences. Choices, lots of choices. If I choose to die, then I wouldn't live to see how this tricky charade will end. It seemed easier to die now. Here, in the middle of all things wrong.

But then again, if I die, what will happen to the little things that I value most? Am I willing to give up just like that? No. I can't. I won't.

The world continues to spin under my feet but these stupid feet won't move with it. I'm stuck, drowned by the fast moving blur of colors around me. Then, there's darkness again. Pitch black, as if all the colors are drained except for one. Then, there's me. I call darkness a good friend and I say hello to endings.

The End.

Labels: december, endings, november, pain, pink crimson, The End

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 4:40 AM