Right Time

07-06-2010 Tuesday

Finding the right time to tell him is harder than I thought it would be. The hardest is figuring out what to say exactly, word per word to make him understand that the one thing getting in the way of our relationship is back to haunt us. When I left home and decided to stay with him, it doesn't mean that the problem is gone because I ran away from it, it's still there, right where I left it, until the time comes that it needs to follow me. Unfortunately, looks like now is the time.

I still don't know how I'll go about telling him, where do I start? Oh and wait, why am I so scared anyway? If his decision is still a big fat NO, then I might as well consider everything we've had as null. Zippo. Nothing follows after it. I shouldn't be so sad actually by now, I should've braced myself for the worse. Besides, I'm so looking forward to going back home, aren't I? Yeah, but still, please don't blame me for being sad about having to give him up, it has been too long of a journey, too many memories that just the mere thought of letting it all go is heartbreaking.

We happened to have a schedule that doesn't really conflict, which to me is working out fine. He works from 6am-3pm, so when I go home, he's no longer there, that means I have the bed to myself and I can sleep well. I count on him to wake me up when he get home since the alarm on my cellphone is unreliable. And of course, the best thing is that he's able to drive me to work which means I'm saving money on my fare.

Even with that good schedule, I can't find the time to ask him to sit down and have the serious talk. I can't find the time, and courage maybe? I don't know. Whenever I would come up to him, I find myself unable to find the right words to say.

I know this matter couldn't wait any longer but I'm begging for a miracle for him to change his mind. I'm hoping that the time we've spent together is enough to make him realize that this relationship could work if we'll try to bridge our gap, our ONLY gap, which is our religion differences.

Okay, eventually, I'll find the right time. We need to talk, soon. Wish me luck on this.

Labels: alex, gap, pink crimson, relationships, religion, right time

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 7:03 AM