Perfect Mask

06-18-2010 Friday

Before my scheduled leave today, my last day at work didn't go well, it was so ugly that I would hate to remember it but of course, it will always be in the back of my mind as a reminder whenever I would put my mask on. Yep, when I get back to work next week, I plan to put a perfect mask on, the mask of a deserving employee, an employee with closed eyes and shut mouth who sees no evil, hears no evil and speaks no evil. How hard could it be? I could be an actress, I can fake it, no worries.

Sorry if I'm confusing y'all, but ok, I'll briefly explain myself though I don't expect to be understood. I'm a loudmouth at the office. Whenever I'm having a bad day with the bad calls coming in, I am very outspoken about it. I say what I feel and if I'm badmouthing the company, it is because it actually sucked and 'sucked' is too mild a term for all the other vulgar words I could think of for this account we can simply call Sprint. I'm not the only tenure agent who feels this way, I know that for a fact. The reality is, OUR ACCOUNT SUCKED.

Reasons why I'm staying? 1. I love the company of friends that I have in my team. 2. My manager is a good friend/sister/confidante. 3. NCO is a nice company to work for, it has become a parent that nurtured me for three years. 4. Ugh.. ????? I can't think of any other valid reason for staying. The salary? You kidding me? My basic pay can be doubled with another company. So it's really not for the money even though I seriously need it. It also mattered to me that I'm with the people I love working with.

As it turns out, my hate and bitterness for the account has been too obvious yesterday (and the other day, well I have two bad calling days what can I say?!) and my manager has become negative about it. She talked to us after our shift, though she has called the entire team, I know that it's mostly me she feels negative about. She said the usual thing a manager would say like, 'love your job, let's be positive about it, if you're gonna be badmouthing the company what does it say about me, it makes me look ineffective yada yada...' you know, the usual bullshit they get from I don't-know-who.

My manager is a wonderful person, very kind, caring and understanding, but the manager side of her is still the type who's in favor of the company, or maybe that's just what I'm thinking..or maybe she really loves her job that much. She's a compassionate leader to us, she has done way too much for things to be in our favor and there's really nothing bad I can say about her, it's just that, sometimes, this is one of those times, when I feel like she's wearing the ideal manager mask.

I wonder if they get it from training? If you become a manager, do you have to become more than one type of person? Do you have to, sometimes, hide your realistic side to be in favor of the company? I may not make sense because I can't explain myself really well in regards to this topic but hell, I hope some people can get the gist of what I'm trying to say.

While she talked, I remained quiet even though I wanted to contradict everything she's saying, out loud. I just can't. She'll feel more negative if she realizes how I really loathe this account that we're in. Besides, if I tell her the reason why I'm staying, she'll just say, 'You don't work for me'. Well, yeah that's kinda true. But we work because she's there. She wouldn't like that answer, she wanted to hear us say, 'yay we love our job, the calls are great! No pressure! No worries! Jump for joy!'

I don't like repeating myself so just search for my post about why we can simply get a job elsewhere. The answers are there. We are damn good sellers but they can never blame us if the calls they're giving us are bullshits.

So that's what happened. She wants us, I mean me specifically, to stop whining, love the job, be thankful that we still have the account, and be happy that we're still together. Oh yeah? I raised my eyebrow on the last part. Be happy? Yes, I'm happy with the team and whenever we would just laugh about how ugly the calls are, she'll be like, 'let's not be too happy if we don't have a sale yet.' Ok, lemme get this straight, you don't want us laughing, and you don't want us whining about the calls? What will we be, then? Ahh I know.. Find a perfect agent mask: Cover up what you really feel. Be a fucking stone, devoid of emotions and human feeling.

That's what I'll definitely do when I get back to work next week. I can't wait. No more hateful me. No more loudmouth me. No more cursing while on mute. I'll be so fucking quiet you wouldn't even notice that I'm there. CAN'T FUCKING WAIT.

Labels: call center, calls, management, NCO, pink crimson, sprint, team, work

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 3:07 AM