Remembering What It's Like

06-24-2010 Thursday

I had no idea that it's gonna rain so imagine my surprise when the rain poured while we were on the way to the office. Alex had to stop, and we ran for cover at the nearest establishment that has a roof. We ended up in a bakery store at a corner somewhere in Munoz.

"Just great.." I muttered under my breath as I took off my jacket that almost got wet.

"Good thing we left early.." he said, "It's only 8:30, hopefully this rain will stop sooner."

"Yeah." I looked around. The rain seemed to pour down harder. 'This is not looking good..' I thought. Then, I glanced at Alex, he looked thoughtful while observing the people around us, his arms folded in front of his chest.

I remembered something while looking at him. A year before, probably around the same time as today, this is exactly how we were. He would pick me up in the house and take me to the office with our motorcycle (at that time, it was the Honda Alpha). When it would rain, we would stop before we got wet, wait for the rain to stop then continue speeding away.

Based on the occasional rain we're experiencing, I'm guessing that summer has officially ended. Well, I'm hoping that it has ended. I wanted to feel the cold weather again, like the year before when life was simpler.

June is ending. I've been in love with Alex for 1 year and 2 months now. I was thinking that when he looked at me, "What is it?" he asked.

I shook my head, told him it's nothing. Then, I went back to thinking. For the record, he's still the only guy that has lasted this long with me. He's still the only guy that I've loved this long. Most relationships last for years and years but for me, this is seriously breaking the record.

As the rain continued to pour, I remember more and more random things about me and Alex. The day I met him at 7-11, his boyish smile that told me 'Hey you you'll fall in love with me for sure', the trials we've been through (and still going through), and the changes that has happened to us both individually and as lovers. It makes me think, 'Did I grow up? Am I more mature now?' maybe a little, but I feel a huge change in me..something remarkable that I can't point it out specifically. Is it because of him? Because of the thing that's binding us now?

There's something in me that has changed dramatically. Something I can't really explain but it's just there. It's a good something. Whatever it is, I'm glad that at least I can look back at my relationship with Alex as a life-changing experience. I can be happy about it even if we don't end up being together in the long run. But of course, it would be better if it's a nice li'l happy ending.

As for some changes in Alex, I noticed that he has plans for the future. He talks to me about it. He's starting to get rid of some of his vices, like excessive spending on stuff for his motorcycle, or his drag racing stance. His friend has even mentioned that he no longer goes to this place in Macapagal where drag racings are always held. He appears to be changing to be a better person as well. I'm glad to see him in that healthy state of being. The sad thing is, it's not a guarantee that I'm gonna stay with him. Why? One word: Religion.

I was still lost in thoughts when he tugged me in the arm. "Let's go, the rain has stopped." he said, handing me back my helmet.

I love him. That's all I know for now. If this works out, then I'll be glad, if it doesn't, then I'm hoping I'll eventually learn how to deal with the pain.

Labels: alex, Anniversary, change, love, pink crimson, relationships

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 5:14 AM