Evident Changes

06-16-2010 Wednesday

I knew that Alex just happened to wake up early yesterday that's why he was able to pick me up at work. Today, I'm not mistaken that he's probably still snoring by the time I got out of the office.

I got out at a little after 7 in the morning and it's hard getting a jeepney that goes straight to Quiapo. I'm used to commuting everyday but I hate hate it when I have to wait forever for a jeepney or when I find myself stuck in traffic. I encountered those two things that I hate and I wished Alex did pick me up because it took me an hour before I reached our house! To think that I live nearby, the length of time it took me is almost equal to the time it will take me if I go home to Caloocan.

The sun is already up when I walked the busy morning street in Blumentritt. Alex texted me, asking me where I am and apologizing that he didn't wake up early enough to pick me up. Yeah, as expected. I didn't bother to reply, what's the use if I'm just 10 steps away from our house?

I opened the door to our room and there he was, lying in bed, holding his cellphone. He had this guilty smile on his face when he saw that I wasn't smiling. I was too tired to argue though so I put my things down, went to the bathroom for a quick shower, changed into fresh clothes and headed back to the room.

I was almost at the door when I caught a glimpse of my half body reflection in the mirror against the wall on my side. I stopped to scrutinize at my features. I faced the mirror, then I faced my left, then to the right, my eyes not leaving my reflection. As I did that, I begin to notice the changes happening in me and it worries me so much because it means the time is getting nearer when I could no longer visit my gramma. I'll be going home to her tomorrow so this is something that we need to talk about. I wanted her to be the one to visit me but with my mom to take care of at home, not to mention the house chores, I know she can't always travel back and forth to see me.

It makes me sad again. I wish it wouldn't happen this soon but it's something I can't control. Once the evident changes begin to occur, then it's fast forward from that, there would be no turning back anymore. It will be me, hiding away in Manila, far away from gramma. I know that this isn't really the right thing to do but we have ran out of options. This is not the best way to deal with the matter at hand but it's too late to undo my mistakes.

When I lie down in bed, I didn't fall asleep immediately. My biggest mistake for this day is drinking more than 2 cups of brewed coffee. I have a lot of things in mind, my body is tired, yet I can't sleep. Even after Alex left to go to work, I'm still awake, thinking.

I wish I could change things..instead of letting things change me...

Labels: alex, Blumentritt, changes, gramma, home, living together, pink crimson

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 3:06 AM