Undeciphered Loneliness

05-24-2010 Monday

First day after I moved in...

I woke up hungry, restless and sweating. I thought it's late morning already because I can hear people moving around outside the room. The sound of something being fried, spoon and forks hitting the dishes, and chairs moving. The sound I'm hearing reminded of how my gramma always wakes up early in the morning to prepare a hearty breakfast. I grabbed Alex's cellphone from under the pillow to check the time: 5:05 am. A bit too early for someone like me.

I heard voices talking, the sound of the early morning news on TV, mixed with Alex's snoring right beside my ear. I poked his face to wake him up. 'I'm hungry' I whispered to his ear. No response. This guy is really not a morning person, so am I, but the smell of food outside is making me even hungrier.

I decided to try to get some sleep. It was useless. I thought about my gramma at home and I wondered if she's still worried about me. Of course, she's probably worried, like wondering if I'm eating right or if I'm having a hard time doing things on my own. That's the kind of caring person she is.

I closed my eyes and imagined I am back home. I imagined Damien happily wagging his tail at me, I imagined my gramma busy in the kitchen, I imagined my cats playing outside..then I opened my eyes and I'm back to where I really am. I'm with Alex but still, I feel like I'm not complete. I thought this is what I wanted all along but I guess I was wrong.

I'm getting really hungry so I raised hell to wake Alex up. I pinched, slapped, kicked him till he reluctantly got up. We had breakfast at a nearby carinderia. He paid for it. I was thinking if we have a stove, we can save a lot compared to eating outside.

When I mentioned the stove to him, he said he plans to go home to Cavite this weekend to get the stove that's not being used there. I told him to do that, so we can start saving money on our meal. I can't cook so he'll have to live with sunny side up egg and heated canned goods, heh-heh.

After breakfast, we went back. He showered and got ready for work. I kissed him goodbye, wished him luck, he left and I was alone again, with nothing to do but wait for the time to pass.

I tried getting some sleep but it was impossible. What's with the kids from the other room, playing noisily, stomping their little feet, shouting like there's no tomorrow, in other words, the kids here are snotty brats and if there will be a time when all their parents are out, I might strangle those little tykes if I can't help myself. Jesus, I hate kids, especially bratty ones.

Around 4 o'clock, I prepared to go to work. It's too early but I'd rather be there, in an air-conditioned office, than be here locked up in a smoldering hot room, listening to merciless screaming outside.

Leaving early turned out to be a good thing, traffic was heavy and the jeep that I was unfortunate enough to ride, was slower than any type of moving object with wheels. The driver is an old, balding man who strives to call every passenger he can get, from one street corner to the other.

Finally, I reached the office, sweating and slightly mad for the length of time it took me to travel considering that I live near the office now. I struggled to stay awake throughout my entire shift. The only thing that I liked today is I ended up with some good sales, other than that, I'm sad and missing my home and I seriously can't wait to go back.

Labels: alex, gramma, home, k, kids, NCO, pink crimson, work

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 11:29 PM