The Move

05-23-2010 Sunday

"You take care of her ok? We love her so much so please take care of her.." I overheard my gramma said to Alex as they load all of my stuff in the owner type jeep that he borrowed. Alex's voice was too low so I didn't hear his answer from the room where I sat, brushing my wet hair.

I felt a sudden twang of pain. I'm gonna move out. They're loading my things up in the jeep. I'm leaving my gramma. I pinched myself a dozen times, this is reality, this is really happening.

The funny thing is, I should be happy to be with Alex, that's what I wanted right? I always wait for my day off so I can be with Alex, I want him beside me all the time, I always find myself missing him, then why am I not so happy anymore? I guess it's because of the fact that I realized how much I love my gramma more.

I spent a good amount of quality time with my gramma today. It started when she accompanied me in my scheduled doctor's appointment. We went to the hospital at around 11am, waited for more than an hour for me to be called, then waited another hour or so for the result of the blood test my doctor requested.

After that, we went to Zabarte Mall because I needed to withdraw some cash. She requested for a halo-halo and I'm more than willing to grant that. After I withdrew from the ATM, we dined at Chowking, I was thankful for her senior citizen's ID, the 20% discount is really something.

Then, we went home. She went back to preparing the stuff that I'm gonna bring with me, kitchen utensils, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, she packed them all neatly. We bought the electric fan from our neighbor and she cleaned it as well. Then, she bought a gallon of mineral water for me to bring. She knows all the things that I'm gonna need and more. She even cooked dinner for me and Alex so we can eat before we leave.

Meet my gramma. That's how she is. I hate to leave her even if it's gonna be 3 months at the most, it feels like I'm gonna be gone for a long time.

After we packed everything, we're ready to go. Alex said goodbye to my mom, and went outside where my gramma is. I saw Damien looking up at me, waiting for me to move. I hate to leave that dear dog of mine as well. I kneeled on the floor beside him and scratched his belly. "I'll be back this Saturday, ok?" I told him.

I went outside. My gramma is watching the jeep with a faraway gaze in her eyes. "I'll just think that you wouldn't be too far, you're just a block away.." she said to no one in particular.

"I'll be back this Saturday." was all I could say. I wanted to cry, to hug her, thank her for everything and promise her that I'll never leave, that this move it only temporary but I can't move. I'm frozen with too many mixed emotions.

"Ok, take care." she said to me then she turned to Alex, "Be careful in driving ok?"

"Yes. We'll be going now." he said, then he hopped behind the wheels.

I sat on the passenger's seat. My gramma stood outside the house, watching us.

Alex started the engine. I forced a smile and waved at my gramma. She waved back.

Off we went. I kept on looking back even though I can't see anything but my stuff behind. That's good. It's gonna be harder to look back and see the loved one I'm leaving behind.

Our trip lasted for more than an hour. When we arrived in Blumentritt, we started unloading my things. I was finally able to see the room. It was small but it's enough for the two of us. I'm here but a big part of myself still wants to be with my gramma instead.

I was deep in thought when Alex barged into the room, carrying a big basket filled with his clothes. "These are some of my clothes, can you fold it neatly while I go get more of my stuff upstairs?" he didn't wait for an answer. He dropped the basket near my feet and went out.

I scowled. Some of his clothes? I thought ridiculously staring at the overflowing basket of clothes. 'Here's to something new..' I thought when I picked up a crumpled brief from the basket.

The big move. The start of something? Nah. Temporary, that's what it is. I'm still coming home to gramma. :(

Labels: alex, Blumentritt, gramma, home, moving out, pink crimson

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 11:27 PM