If's

04-05-2010 Wednesday

If I could have one more day, one more time to hold him, feel him beside me, I would give up everything just to be with him before I walk away from our memories. The date is set for the 16th of May and everytime I would look at the calendar, it seemed like that date is fast approaching. I hate to go, but it hurts to stay.

It has only been a week and 3 days and I'm already missing him like crazy. I go to work, I laugh with my colleagues, I go home tired, I look in the mirror and I see the girl looking back at me is not whole, it's like, a big chunk of myself is missing. Something's not right when I'm not with him, how can it happen, I've lived before he existed in my life, but why is it different now?

I sure don't believe in destiny, or soulmates, all those bullshits that pathetic hopeless romantics believe in. I also don't believe in the saying that if the person is meant for you, then you'll end up together no matter what. Bullshit. If you want someone so bad, if you think that the someone you're with is the one you can't live without, then go for it, fight for that person. Who knows, you might screw destiny up?

I'm torn between wanting to still fight for it or just go with my hard decision of letting go. If I fight for it, will I hurt myself even more? If I go away, will I regret that decision in the future? If's, but's, would or would not? Jesus, I'm so undecided.

Give me a freaking reason to stay. Please, I want to stay..

Labels: alex, destiny, fate, pink crimson, relationships, soulmate

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 7:20 PM