Sweet Hangover

02-01-2010 Monday

This sucks. It's February, I'm back in Manila, my short vacation is over and I have work tomorrow. Time to take things seriously again, I can't afford for my stats to continously drop, it's a new month and I have to be more focused with work if I wanna stay and earn money. I know this is gonna be harder this month, that's always the case at work, they make it more agonizing as a new month approaches.

The hard thing after a nice vacation with Alex is to face the sad reality that things will be back to being complicated again here in Manila as opposed to the carefree living in their secluded area in Cavite. Things are so different there. People get up early in the morning, make coffee, eat breakfast, go to work either in a farm or some place through out the day, come home to a nice warm dinner, and sleep early with the sounds of the crickets as a lullaby. That's on a weekday but for a weekend, everyone relaxes at home or simply chats outside while enjoying the grassy view of the fields. A simple, un-fucked up life.

Tall grasses instead of tall buildings. Cool air instead of polluted smoke. Sounds of the animals instead of the noisy vehicles. Nothing fancy. Just a simple laidback life. Not even a call center office in sight. Now, that's relaxing.

I knew I wanted to live in a place like this. I'm not like this before, I always prefer the city life because I always wanted to be so damn rich. But now, comparing the complicated life in Manila to the simple lifestyle in the rural area, I would definitely prefer to be not so rich afterall as long as I'm happy and I'm with the people I love. I mean, people get to survive here right? So why can't I?

I'm here, sitting in front of my computer like I always did before but this time, I feel like I'm still not here, like a part of my being is left in Cavite. This is one of the things I have to endure after a good vacation. The feeling of trying to peel away from the memory to be able to continue on with living in the city. I can't help but think in the back of my mind that at this same exact time yesterday night, I was sitting in the old yet comfortable couch beside Alex as we watch a late night TV show, arms around each other to warm ourselves against the cold wind of the evening blowing from outside the window. I can't help but remember the happiness I've felt, the simplicity of it all and the overwhelming love I have for him.

The hardest part would probably be to sleep alone, clutching my pillow instead of holding him beside me. I prepared myself for that and before I even begin to glance at my bed, I told myself to stop the longing. I told myself that given the right time, we'll be back there anyway and I would feel the simple joy again.

It's like being drunk for a few days and now that the alcohol has been washed away, there's nothing in my guts but the sweet hangover of memories. Right now I feel like I will give up everything just to be back there, be joyful and forget about the stress and pressure that I'm about to experience again.

Life sucks here, there's a whole lot of life outside Manila and that's where I'm headed to. I ain't no city girl now, I left my heart in the province and that's where it's supposed to stay.

Labels: alex, cavite, hangover, love, pink crimson, province

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 5:27 AM