Unbearable

08-20-2009 Thursday

I'm seriously sick of waking up in the afternoon only to find my damned mother lying on the floor, sleeping her ass off all day instead of just being a mother to me and prepare my food before I go to work. No, she ain't like that, and that's the truth I think I have to deal with as long as we're both here as mothers and daughters in the same house but miles apart from each other.

I've tried to ignore her a dozen times already, believe me, but it's hard to do that whenever I will see my gramma working hard to prepare my food, seeing her tired from doing the house chores all day. It's sickening to think how my mother can sleep like a fucking baby while we work our asses off all day.

I sighed upon waking up, wanting to pretend I accidentally kicked her but knowing I can't pull off a lie as obvious as that. I faced my late lunch, looking grim, sighing continously. If I have to wake up like this for the next few days then I think I might go crazy from supressed anger. Another thing that pisses me off is how she turns on the TV after waking up, then, her next companion will be those disgusting redundant afternoon drama series. How in the world can a mother be so involved in a TV program instead of give a fuck if her daughter has already eaten her lunch before going to work?

As always, I kept all the rage inside me. I don't want to start a fight anymore. I know how much it troubles my gramma, and I don't want her to worry about us. I act like everything's okay, I wore a mask of happiness when all I wanna do is throw my mother out of the house and just live alone peacefully with my gramma. I love my gramma more than I love my real parents because all these years, she's the only parent who has been there beside me. If both my parents die, that's fine with me, but if my gramma die, knock on wood she does not, I'll probably move out of the house, take my pets with me and leave my mother alone. Call me the ungrateful daughter, I'll turn around and say, 'you don't even know half of it'.

Behold, this is how my momma raised me. It's a scary thought, and yes, I'm your worst nightmare turned reality.

Labels: daughter, mother, nightmare, pink crimson, rebel, runaway

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 8:43 PM