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08-23-2009 Sunday

This whole running away thing might sound funny to most of you but I can't blame anyone for laughing at this crazy stance of mine. 3 days? So much for running away right?

Well, this is just the beginning of it, I can sense that with the way things are at home when I came earlier this morning. My mother is, surprise, still there, and, another surprise, still doing nothing but play with my gameboy SP while my gramma dear prepares lunch. Now, where in the world can you find a good mother who plays a fucking gameboy rather than do house chores? Am I the only one who thinks that mothers are made to take care of the household chores or if not, mothers are supposed to work? What the hell is wrong?!

With my mom still in the house, it's still not a good sign. It's more than 2 weeks now and this is the way it has been before. Her boss, which is also my aunt, will ask her to go home for awhile then, she'll just tell her when to come back but she never did. She was sent on vacation till eventually, she was never asked to be back for the job. It's not her fault, I totally understand her for that and I hate my aunt for that. Like I said, I don't have any problem with her being physically at home, my problem is that she never does ANYTHING. ANY HOUSE CHORES. NONE, NOTHING. All she does at home is sleep, I wonder how can she still manage to open her eyes from sleeping too much, I just wanted her to be a mother to me, that's all.

I know that I haven't shared my rebel years yet and don't get your hopes up because I don't plan on exposing any of it, those are just skeletons tucked inside my closet for a good reason. So with those past behind me, I know it's easy for other people to say that all I have to do is talk to her about it, open up a nice conversation, and share our thoughts with each other, oh crap, I've done ALL of that, and none of it worked. Sure, she listened before, she seemed to change for awhile but look at her now, she's back to being the lazy ass homebody. Fuck, I don't need a mother like that. Shit, how I missed the peaceful home I used to have with just me, Damien, my cats and my gramma.

After eating lunch, I slept before I could think of leaving again. It's a hot afternoon and I don't want to be pissed so bad that I wanna leave again after coming home barely an hour earlier. I was so tired and sleepy from my long lonely days that's why I drifted off immediately. Off to wonderland. I'll worry about where I'll go next week when I wake up and when my energy is replenished.

Too...tired...to..talk...now...Zzzzzzzzzz

Labels: Damien, daughter, home, mother, pink crimson, runaway

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 4:30 AM