And so February ended..(some thoughts)
02-28-2009 Saturday
It was a hell of a month, that's for sure. Glad I survived it again.
Work is still as crazy and unpredictable as it always has been. Stress, headache, goals, stats to maintain, sleepless mornings, coffee overdose just to name a few.
I know that if you'll compare me to other people around my age, my life is pretty boring. Graveyard shift, devoid of social life, day-off spent at home in front of my pc. Those are the things a normal 20 year-old will avoid like a plague. Sometimes, I miss my life before I started working. Staying out all night, gigs, booze, bands and all those things that'll make you feel wasted in the morning. Though I feel better now to be honest. I feel healthier. I am earning money and I'm able to spend it wisely. I don't have time to go out and drink till I pass out which is good. I have a healthy lifestyle now than before.
I don't think I'm going to trade all this boring stuff that surrounds me everyday just to get back to my old habits. I'm done with all of that. I prefer to live longer, you know. Being good can make you feel good.
Before, I was a wild rebel teenager or whatever you want to call it. I dyed my hair, pierced my ears more than once, smoked Black Bat cigarettes, drank countless bottles of beer and even tried snorting pot. I'm the damned. I used to think that being a bad bad girl will make me look tougher than other chicks but I've proved myself wrong. If you can make yourself be a better person, then you are one hell of a toughie.
Lately, I notice that teenagers nowadays are trying hard to be considered cool. They listen to loud music because they think it's rock and roll, they wear fitted jeans, chuck taylor and studded belts not knowing that they look like gay morons, they curse, they try to be outrageously wild unaware that they're wasting the opportunities being thrown at their feet. Opportunities like being able to study college which is something I never got the chance to do because of financial problems. I hate students who hate college and think that getting a job is cooler. Well, youngsters, better think twice.
Life is not always about whether you fit in or not. It's not always about the word 'cool'. It's about finding yourself and realizing that it's not how long you live but rather, it's about the lives you've touched, people you've changed, including yourself and the simple things that made it worthwhile.
posted by Monica-Lynne @ 8:13 PM
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