It was around 1 in the afternoon when someone knocked at our front door looking for my gramma. I looked out the window and saw Ka Manny, a deacon in our church who lives nearby. I know it has something to do with the financial help we're asking from the church and I don't know why I'm being a little bit of a pessimistic lately because I'm expecting to hear something like, 'no sorry we wouldn't be able to help you..' Yeah, well, I've learned to always expect the worse, I know we're asking help from people who's also having financial difficulties and I really don't wanna bother these good people, I've bothered enough people within the last few weeks so I'm not the most hopeful gal now.

I heard my gramma's wet slippers squish against the cemented floor as she rushed to the door to greet Ka Manny. They talked in hushed voices and I tried not to listen by pressing a pillow against my ear. When I heard Ka Manny leave, my gramma went inside the room and when she saw that my eyes were open, she showed me the plastic bag that held a couple of pennies and some bills. With a tearful look, she said to me, 'they did manage to collect funds to help us out..' All I said was, 'Great' even though what I really wanted to do was burst into tears. I'm touched by the compassion showed to us by our brothers and sisters in faith because I knew that this money are worked hard for.

My gramma spilled out all the money on the floor and I watched her count it one by one. It's not that much but it's enough to add up to the money I'm collecting to pay for my mom's 2 month's stay in the rehab. She still had the tearful look in her eyes when she told me that it's really a big help to us. All I could do was nod. I can't find the right words to say. It seemed like, for the first time in a couple of weeks that all I see were dark grey clouds, I am finally seeing the blue sky. A little bit of help is a huge thing for me now to keep me from losing hope. Maybe it's the overwhelming feeling that I get upon seeing the collected money that made me see the sky beneath the clouds. That financial help meant that we're not alone in this. We have a comrade of faithful people behind our backs, holding out their hands so we can hold on to it and not lose our faith, most importantly.

Faith. That's also a biggie for me. Now, more than ever, I have to keep my faith because it's the only thing I have left. Faith is what makes my sky blue, faith is peeking from the dark clouds, like the sun showing it's rays to assure people that it will rise at the right time of the day. I'm looking forward to that. It has been night time in my life for weeks now and I miss the warmth of the sun. I miss the smile of a brand new day full of hope.

After my gramma counted the last of the pennies, I pretended to go back to sleep and pulled the blanket up to hide my face. It's a long day, I still don't have enough sleep, but it's hard for me to sleep, it's like my eyes don't want to shut anymore. Maybe it's because of the nightmares..or the fact that when I close my eyes, it's gonna be dark again. I was never the type to give a fuck to darkness before, it has been my friend during the rebellious years but now, I'm starting to resent it.

No one deserves to be in the dark. Everyone needs to have a little playground of their own underneath a cloudless sky.