Mother For Sale

10-05-2009 Monday

I've spent a good amount of my time, crying last night, crying, cursing and wishing so damn hard that I never had a mother at all. What's the use if your so-called mother doesn't act even half of what a mother should be like.

I've visited a couple of friends whose mothers are hardworking not just only in their chosen job but also in the house chores. I've seen what mothers are like from other people. Kind, generous, loving, and willing to sacrifice oneself if that's what it takes to give their child a good life, or just to make sure that their child will grow filled with love instead of hate.

Sadly, that isn't what I have at home. Instead of a hardworking mom, I am stuck with a lazyass bitch who doesn't even know if I'm still being treated fair at work, or still eating the right food three times a day. I don't know but I really hate her so bad it makes me sick to even think that I'm related to her. Like, I seriously wish if she wouldn't change to be a better mother then she'd rather be off dead and gone.

To be honest, right now, as I'm typing this, I'm no longer wishing to be rich, or to have my own house, or to have a lot of things, all I wanted is to be happy and alone with my gramma. I'll trade everything that I have now, just to have a simple kind of happiness. No headaches, no stress, nothing. Just live simple, with my gramma who is the only family I have.

My mom wasn't like that before. Sometimes, I am thinking if, by any chance, my real mother was swallowed by this woman and she's somehow, still inside this woman's belly, wanting to come out and be my mother again. Is that possible? Or am I just hallucinating now because of too much hatred? That's the only explanation, even though it's a bit insane-no,it's really insane, that seemed to be the only thing that makes sense to me now.

I've given up on her, I've given up on trying to be a good, and understanding daughter. It's too frustrating and I'm tired of waiting for her to change and be back to what she was before. I know that to most people I look like I'm the worst kind of daughter who ever walked this earth, but it's their opinion, well, it must be the truth, hell, I don't really care anymore!

Is there anyone out there who needs a mother? Here's my mother, you can have her, please, just take her away and I'll greatly appreciate it.

Labels: ANGER, BITCH. mother, daughter, FURY FUCK, HATE, pink crimson, sick

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 6:23 PM