Paper Doll Dreams

06-18-2009 Thursday

Fuck the crappy title I put up. It doesn't have something to do with what I will post for this entry. I posted it for the heck of it, hey it sounds cute right? I feel cute, that's why. If it still doesn't make any sense to you, I'm sorry, too much caffeine and a graveyard shift for 11 friggin' hours at work are enough to destroy some of my precious brain cells. Got that? You wit' me? Uh-huh.

NOTE: These words are all quoted from Alex, yes MY Alex,my boyfriend and hopefully my someone for the long haul. These are snippets of the things he usually tells me when we're together, (some of it, before we're together) or when we have some petty fights, yeah all those blah. I compiled it in my head, translated everything in english offuckincourse, and posted it here since I'll be damned if I don't have anything else to do aside from taking calls here at work. Yep, you guessed it, I'm currently at work right at this very moment, 2:56 in the friggin' morning.


*This is me, in his eyes, his own words. This is the side of me, I usually hide but now, it's for everyone to read...if it matters to you or not, I wouldn't know, what matters is, it mattered to me...


You were there, in your vintage red tee, fitted black jeans, violet pumps and on top of it all, a beautiful, unassuming face, who walked towards me. What you didn't know is that you didn't just walk across the street, you walked into my life and changed me. I remember that day exactly, with the rain drizzling softly from the sky above us. When we were introduced, I couldn't help but smile and you smiled back. I didn't know if it's the cheap booze we were drinking that time or the moment itself, but I was stunned for a minute or two by the arresting smile you gave me.

Where did it began? Let me think. It was when we were standing in line to buy the t-shirts. (me: hahaha I knew it, it's the same for me.) You made a joke remember? About the girl who brought her mom with her at the Slam? (me: Yes, my baby love, I do remember)

I can bet my life it's fate that made you left your t-shirt in my bag. Had it not happened, I'll probably have a hard time trying to get you to go out with me. God, you don't know how thankful I was when I saw your t-shirt neatly folded inside my bag when I got home. You should've seen me smile to myself like God-knows-what when I realized you'll be the first one to text me because of this t-shirt. I was thrilled with the idea of seeing you again.

We did meet again. Everything I told you that night is true. I meant every word. You said it's too soon but it's not too soon when I'm already madly in love with you. I know you have someone else at that time but I'm willing to win over him. I wanted to have you. Take you away from him. (me: You got me) I did, and once again, I'm thankful.

You tend to be so childish at times and I should hate you for that but I ended up being amused in spite of myself. You always pout whenever I can't give you what you want so I just try to explain myself, which will make you pout even more. The pout that I ended up wanting to see because I want to take it off your face with a gentle kiss. (me: Jesus.)

You know what else? (me: Yeah?) You cry easily. I never knew that about you until I got to know you better. I can't believe at first that the girl I was with at the Slam who runs in the middle of the mosh-pit, acts tough when she's with the boys and jumps like a kid is the same girl who can cry buckets of tears over the smallest things. I don't want to see you cry, much more if it's because of me however, you still amuse me when your face turn red from crying and your eyes glisten with tears. I used to tease you as a drama princess but believe me, I was just teasing you, I want nothing else but to hug you tenderly when you cry.

You're the first girl I ever introduced to my family. I don't know how or why I knew but I just knew.. I simply knew... I see myself with you. You can't cook, neither can I but if I have to cook for you, I will. You're fine with sunny side-up egg and hotdogs, right? (me: Dang.)

They say that we wouldn't know what we're missing until it arrives and damn right that's true! After being disappointed by someone I took seriously before, I vowed to myself that I don't want to look for anyone anymore. If someone will come, then so be it. You came. You arrived. So I said, you're the one. You should be. I didn't ask for someone but He gave me more than any guy could ask for.

You warned me that you're hard to understand that I might get fed up with you and leave you. Well let me tell you something, I ain't going nowhere. There's nowhere to go. I'll be patient with you. I'll understand you. No matter what the situation is, I will not leave you. Yes, baby you tend to gimme headache sometimes with your behavior that doesn't want to admit defeat but what else can I do, it's all part of being you and I love you, I love everything about you. I'll never get tired, seeing your breathtaking eyes staring at me, I know that what I have is something I don't ever wanna give up for anything else in this world.

I love you.
(me: I love you, too, sweetie pie)
I love you more.

Labels: alex, love, pink crimson, slam

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 7:11 PM