Downhill From Here
01-07-2010 Thursday
Downhill From Here
Work is starting to become a bitch again. It was just last month when everything's going pretty well for me at work but now, as the first month of the new year begins, it's like everything's starting to fall.
It's a downhill course and it's not just me who can feel it, it's our entire team, even my manager is no longer pleased with us. She feels like all we do is complain about our calls instead of making sales and I do understand where she's coming from but the thing is, we are all doing our best...yet it seemed like it wasn't enough. Something's wrong with our calls but the rule of the thumb here is, no matter how shitty your calls are, you have no right to complain, all you have to do is make sales, make money for them that's why as for me, I've stopped complaining out loud a long time ago.
The only witness to my complains is this blog, some of the few people who's reading this, and the notepad in my pc. That's why I value writing this much. When no one bothers to listen, I can still pour it all out in writing. This is not a blog of complain, it's more of a wailing wall for me, that's the expectation I set more than a year ago when I started this so please get used to it.
As I was saying about work, it's getting harder again. I don't know if it's a mere stroke of luck last month that it's a holiday season, like everyone's so ready to splurge and buy new phones that's why we managed to close lots of sales but still, as sales people, I've learned that it's not all luck, most of it is 'skill', the thing that made us worthy for this job in the first place. So does this mean that we're also losing our skills as well? Me, personally? God, I hope not.
I never plan to be a sales person, I never even imagine that I'll be dealing with sales but look what I am now. I managed to make my way here in this company without having any college experience so that should say something about my skills, right? With that in mind, what am I still doing here, why am I not as productive as I used to be?
We're all having a hard time, struggling to make a sale, it's not just me but our situations are different. Some can always find a better job outside this company, some can always resign with ease while I have quite a few thigns to consider before I quit. The bills that I have to pay, our everyday needs, and I'm a little bit doubtful about other companies because I know they will want to hire people with a higher educational attainment. I was thinking that there are a lot more qualified people with college experiences for the job than me so finding another job might be a little hard for me.
I have to think of something, it's too bad that all this has to happen at once. My mom at the rehab, the lack of support from Alex, and now, this job that's not as cooperative with me as it did last month. If I think about all of it too hard, I might also wind up in the rehab myself. One thing at a time might do so I have to still try to hang on to this job, try to make sales even if it meant perspiring blood for every closed sale. Then, after I get off from work, I could rest a bit before thinking of what to do when my mom goes home. As for Alex, I'll let him do whatever he wants to do, accomplish whatever goal he has, and I'll deal with these things with or without him.
Calls are coming in now like tidal waves and we're getting swept one by one. What else is left to do? Try to hang on, try to get by. Yes, probably.
Labels: americans, call center, calls, pink crimson, work
Status: In a Relationship with WORK
12-13-2009 Sunday
Oh, how I'm loving my job now and I can feel it loving me back. This is the kind of relationship that's sure to give me loads of money on my payslip every payday. If this goes on, then I'm sure to get loads of commission from last month and this month.
This is definitely the best time to sell, with the Americans ordering over the phone for Christmas gifts, Americans having enough money in their credit cards to pay for a purchase and not to mention the holiday sales we have. That's why I'm always eager to go to work and close those sales. I'm fueled by the drive to do good in my job because it's the only thing that seemed to work out for me. Everything's down in my life right now so I need to have at least one good thing to focus on.
I logged out happily and contented with my final stats for this week. I feel more comfort in my workplace than my own house, where all the pain is hiding in it's four corners. If it wasn't for my gramma, Damien and my cats, I would definitely relocate, live alone and find my own happily-ever-after ending which is still elusive to me up to now.
Yeah, happiness sometimes is hard to find and you have to go through a lot of sadness before you can finally have it. I still believe that I would be able to straighten things out, I mean I still have my strong faith to keep me going. I'm still hoping, hoping so hard that when the new year comes, we can start anew and leave our dark past completely, as for me with or without Alex, I'm definitely moving on with what's left from the pieces of my broken life.
I have my goals, I have my dreams that I want to fulfill. I'm still young, the road of life is laid out in front of me and now, after all that I've been through, I'm not afraid to run forward and grab my small piece of happy ever after.
Labels: alex, americans, call center, commission, pink crimson, work
Farewell to A Brother
10-17-2009 Saturday
Part of the reason why I'm able to still go to work in spite of the pressure and stress, is because I have a wonderful set of colleagues in my team, who are able to make me laugh and simply be a family by my side whenever things get rough. That's why I'm able to manage somehow. The thought of seeing them, knowing that they're beside me thru the good and the bad, makes working somewhat easier.
Even though things seemed perfect as far as working with the best team mates, I know it's not always gonna be like this. A time will come when we have to go one by one. Like this week, Raymond, one of my brother from another mother, filed his immediate resignation. We were all surprised by his sudden decision but as much as we would like for him to stay, his mind is made up, and for whatever reason he may have, we have no choice but to accept the fact that he's leaving us, wish him luck in his future endeavors and move forward.
We, as a team, are more than just colleagues to each other. I know I've mentioned that in more than one post. It's sad that one brother has to go, that also means a big chunk of laughters, jokes and fun will also go with him. A piece of a picture perfect puzzle will be taken off. Well, if that's how it is, we just have to deal with it.
As for my personal message to him, (this is something I wasn't able to write on that memorabilia that our manager created for him); Mah men, stay strong. I know you have the guts to succeed, you must've chosen a different path away from us but I believe that you only did what you think is good for you.We'll miss you, brother.
Oh and don't you dare forget that;
*At Sprint, we lose customers literally!*We're taking calls in a farm, in a highway and sometimes we even experience a loud crash!*Aux means life. Auto In means death. *We should always be on a lookout for pretty and sexy girls, in other words, delicioso!*Our phones have mp3, camera, bluetooth and the best thing about it is that...we can make a call!*We have a department called Telesirs, 'we're all men here'.*Americans are dumb. We're way too smarter than those Caucasians. Good luck mah men! Thanks for the memories.
Labels: americans, brother, pink crimson, sprint, work
A Reason to Stay
08-14-2009 Friday
"What about you, what makes you stay?" I was taken aback when my teammate-slash-batchmate-slash-big bro Jeff threw that question back at me,when we talked about the shitty work we have, after our tiring 8-hour shift.
When I asked him that, he quickly answered that he's already considering of resigning, rather than wait to be terminated because of his performance, at least with that, he can come back.
I was silent for awhile before I could answer, I couldn't look at him. I thought to myself,
'yeah, good question, what makes me stay'? Given that there are other opportunities outside NCO especially with the fact that being a tenure in this company made me a good candidate for other call centers, in addition to that is, of course, higher salary somewhere else. So seriously, what makes me stay in spite of being under a shitty management?
I simply answered to him that I don't know, but in the back of my mind, those thoughts linger, even as I rode the jeepney on my way home that morning. I guess the answer to that question is still the same as the realization I've had a couple of months ago when I submitted a resignation letter but ended up taking it back. I am in love with this company. It's just the acount itself and the assholes in position are the things that make our job similar to being doomed in hell. Putting those shits aside, the company itself is warm and it has been my second home for more than two years now.
I also love my wonderful teammates. We rely on each other, we make each other laugh, we are a family to each other because it's the only way to keep ourselves from missing the real families we left at home. These people are the ones I look up to. People who, like me, has probably developed brain damage from too much stress, lack of sleep and caffeine overdose. If I resign, I will definitely miss the laughs we always share in between calls, or the teasing we throw at each other, and even the pizza party every once in a while. Without these people around me, I doubt if I can still stay this long without losing my mind completely.
Now, the fact that Jeff, one of the very few remaining batchmates I have, is thinking about applying to another company, makes me sad somehow. Is this what's gonna happen if things don't look good at the end of this month? Are my other teammates starting to consider resigning as well? I never thought things could get that bad but hopefully, God please, we can still survive another month or so. I mean, August is about to end, when September comes, the holiday season is just around the corner at that time. Who would want to resign before the happy month of December?
Well, I don't know about them, but I'm staying here. I may feel like I wanna give up but I always find reasons to continue and I thank God for that.
Labels: americans, call center, NCO, pink crimson, work
A Week of Pressure
08-12-2009 Wednesday
Work is getting more and more of a motherfucker to us, the employees, and we feel the pressure as those fucking cunts and cocks most commonly known as the management, tighten the leash they forced to tie around our necks. Everything is starting to get harder, the goals are next to impossible, the rules are getting more unfair, yet our pay still stays the same and the incentives are just some cents compared to what those undeserving bastards are getting.
Imagine this: They have the decency to walk around holding that Starbucks drink,produced out of the money we've worked hard for to get but sadly, we don't. We do all the selling, we fucking bleed for every sale, and the money we made goes straight into their pockets. To be honest, I don't complain about that a lot, until now that they're starting to pressure us more.
At the start of August, my stats are doing good, I even have my goal set to get more incentives this month. As the month progress, I started to go down. I don't know why. I can sell, shit, I've been at it for two years and counting but the calls I'm getting are fucking craps. I talk to whining Americans, condescending assholes, and dumb blondes. God, I wonder why America is so rich in spite of having a lot of dumb people who wanted to get the impossible.
The worse thing is they don't give a fuck about your calls. They just want you to sell, sell, sell so they can make more money out of you. You can't reason out that your calls are bullshit, you can't reason out that you customer is a racist, you can't reason out that you've tried your best because for them your best simply isn't enough.
I didn't mean to rant this much but that's just how we feel as employees. My colleagues, my dear beloved teammates share the same sentiment. Most of them will tell us to just leave if we're not happy but it's not as easy as that. We have families to feed, we have a lot of things to consider, we can't just leave. Besides, I've come to enjoy being with these people, it's just the management that makes our lives a living hell.
Our manager feels the pressure and she has no choice but to pass it on us. She has always been nice, considerate and she is not just a manager, she's a friend and confidante in one. But now, things seemed to also get in her nerves and we don't really blame her for feeling that way. She has said in many of her messages to us that she's starting to lose it, and the thing we can't say is that it's the same thing for us.
Shit. I just wish we can all make it thru this entire month of hell.
Labels: americans, blonde, pink crimson, rants, work
Nothing but a Headache
08-08-2009 Saturday
We've had this new schedule for more than a week now but I feel like my body is still trying to get used to it. I still have a hard time trying to sleep in the early morning and when I happen to sleep early, I tend to wake up way too early. The result? Headache, oh and my face also hurts, I don't know how you can relate that to lack of sleep, but it happens to me.
My motivation for this day is that it's the last day of the week and tomorrow is my long awaited day off but to be honest, I barely feel my day-off, as k my colleagues and they'll say the same thing. After having the 4day shift for a few months, we all feel like a 5 day shift makes the week longer than it already is and the 2 days off is something that passes by so quick. I sleep, I woke up and the next thing I knew, I have to go to work again.
For the most part, our work is tiring, as opposed to what most peole think when they heard the word call center. We go to work as normal human beings but as our shift progresses, we develop brain damage from talking too much, drinking too much caffeine and entertaining stress as part of our everyday life. The cynics will even think that we have nothing to complain about since we get paid tons of cash anyway, when payday comes. Well, if you'll consider the things we have to give up, putting our health at risk and being battered inside, you'll think that no amount of money can make up for those.
Like I always say in most of my posts, I need this job so I would really need a lot of motivations to continue and I know it has to come from myself. Sometimes, I still wish I could be a normal teenager who goes to college and has nothing to worry about but projects, assignments and stuff like that. What else can I do, I'm already here, I have to grow up, I have things to carry on my shoulders and I know it will all pay off in God's time, like what they usually say.
So for now, I gotta go. I have some whining Americans waiting for me on the other line. Beep.
Labels: americans, call center, pink crimson, work
What An American Wants
08-01-2009 Saturday
Since this is the beginning of a new month, dear God time really flies faster and I barely notice, I decided to start it off with a post in regards to the people I usually talk to over the phone; Americans. I'm not the type who discriminates, moreover, I ain't no racist but the intention behind this post is to enumerate some facts about those Americans we talk to and also, I'm hoping that it'll make us proud of what we are, because to tell you all the truth, those foreigners may look richer than us , more educated than us but folks, believe me, they are merely average people who, most of the time, talk twice as much as they listen.
*Americans are not techno junkies. Sure, they're abundant with technologies like cellphones, computers, digital cameras etc. but most of them don't even know how to get the most out of those stuff. If those stuff start to act weird, they call some technical support for help then it'll turn out that all they need is to know where the power switch is located and know when to turn it off or on.
*They don't have all the time in the world to read some manuals or user guides so don't be surprised if they don't know how to lock the keypad on their cellphone. That's why almost 90% of Americans prefer flip phones so they wouldn't need to worry about accidentally pushing a button on their phone.
*They could be childish and envious of others. Most of the people I talk to over the phone always say things like, "Why can't I get this phone for free? My brother got it for free and he's with the same company blah blah blah..."
*They think that being a long time customers on a certain carrier mean that they can have whatever is it they wanted, be it a free PDA smartphone, free minutes, stuff like that and if can't give it to them, they threaten to cancel the service. Childish isn't it? Why can't they understand the simple fact that if we say we can't do it, we really can't do it. We represent their wireless carriers, we're don't represent God.
*In addition to that, when they threaten to cancel service, they tell us, we'll just go to another carrier and I always bite my tongue to keep me from blurting out "Go ahead bitch, switch providers, that's so fucking childish". One time, a customer even told me that he'll tell all his friends and relatives who uses the same service to cancel as well just because he can't get what he wanted which is next to impossible. Compare that to what we are here in our own country. Did we ever demand to Globe that we deserve to get the free IPhone? Of course not, Jesus.
*They usually call us for three reasons; buy a cellphone, whine/complain/rant like a goddamn kid, or ask a very stupid question.
*When they know what they wanted, and they can pay for it, they call and tell us right off the bat. When they know what they wanted but couldn't afford it, they whine, they complain telling us they are long time customers, we need to give them more discounts blah blah blah. Very few customers will tell us that they can't afford it, most of them will just argue with you like it's your fault that they don't have the money to pay for it, and all you can do is grab your hair in frustration.
*We encounter racists even over the phone. We answer their call and they're like, "I want to speak to an American agent". Sometimes, I hang up on them, that's just irritating. Does the race, color and accent determine the person's capability to help you out with your concern? I don't think so.
*They value their time. They don't want to be on the phone that long so when you talk to them, don't give them the run around, just say it.
*They talk a lot. Let them talk as much as they want.
Americans have positive sides of course. I get to talk to some Americans who are jolly and very polite over the phone and it's a good thing. It can lessen the pressure of my job and somehow lessens the weariness.
I manage to learn things in my job. I learned the differences we have with other race when it comes to culture, behavior, things like that. Before having this job, I used to wish that I was born foreign, you know, blue eyes, blond hair but now, as I deal with dozens of Americans on my 9 hour shift in 5 days, I get to know them more so now, I can say that I'm proud of what I am now. A Filipino. Our country is beautiful, we Filipinos are smart, we don't discriminate other race, damn we know a lot about technology, what more could I ask for?
Labels: americans, pink crimson, wireless carrier, work
White Lies-Muted Pain Pt.2
07-23-2009 Thursday
8:00pmI just logged in and since it's too early for those childish, spoiled Americans to call us, I wanted to take this time to continue my story on where I left it yesterday. Comfy swivel chair-check. A tall cup of hot chocolate-check. My colleagues form a circle near me, as they discreetly share some latest gossip about other people on the floor. On an ordinary night when I don't have anything to write, I'll definitely join them but right now, I feel like zoning out, being on my own, hunched on my own station as I relieve the things that has happened which made an impact on my relationship and trust with Alex.
Monday: 7-20I'm a total wreck with all these tears on my face, my nose red and filled with snot, my eyes swollen I can barely see what's ahead of us as we drive away. I can't stop myself from having a crying fit. I was worried sick awhile ago, thinking of horrible things I thought has happened to my dear sweet Alex. I thought of losing him, and it hurts to think that if ever that happened I'll definitely live the remainder of my life blaming myself. I was relieved to see Alex, to be with him again yet I couldn't bring myself to stop crying because I'm still in the aftermath of traumatic thoughts, blame it on my morbid imagination.
[That led me to skip work that night. I had to make up stories about my gramma being sick blah blah blah. I know it'll make my manager mad at me but I just couldn't go to work like this. I may be there physically but inside I'll be empty.]We went to MOA instead, and talked on the bay side. I'm still crying, telling him how he had me worried and he put my job in jeopardy again. Being late is a big
NO NO in our job. I know I have a couple of attendance occurence already so I couldn't risk making those numbers go up, besides, I also lost my chance in getting the perfect attendance incentive. Dammit. I know I only made it worse by being absent but as of this time, I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd rather be but here, with him.
He argued with me telling me that I should've asked him first what happened before throwing a fit like that.
"Ok" I said I'll listen,
'what happened?""My license was confiscated the day before right, all I have is the ticket of my violation. There's a checkpoint in Nova. They wouldn't let me go at first but since the ticket was issued in Quezon City, they said it's okay." he explained.
"Well, you should've texted me! I was worried!" I said.
"I don't wantyou to worry." he reasoned out.
I'm getting mad again,
"We've had this issue before! I told you to tell me everything that's happening to you, the less I know, the more I worry! Is it that hard to send me a message?""How can I send a message if I'm driving!" he shouted at me.
"Fuck you!" I couldn't stop myself from cursing out loud. People nearby stared but I don't care.
"Fuck! Are you still driving when they caught you at the checkpoint! Fuck you! We're through! I'm done with you!" and that night, I fucking mean it.
The thing is, just like before, he has a way with me. He wouldn't let me break up with him. I don't know how he does it but when we had dinner at this inexpensive resto, seeing his amused look (eyebrows up as he scanned the surrounding), I'm no longer mad at him. For the first time that night, I smiled.
[I thought the pain is over but I wasn't prepared for what's gonna come next.]I sat outside the house where Alex stays as he went somewhere to pee. His cellphone was in my hand as I listened to some random radio station. Feeling bored and sick with the lame songs they play on the radio, I just turned it off and browsed some of his messages instead. I saw a couple of messages from me and some from Ate Weng and Ate Mench (the folks he live with).
7:20pm Ate Weng: Lex, san ka na? 7:25pm Ate Weng: Puntahan mo na ko dito.7:29pm Ate Mench: Daanan mo na si Weng, Lex.7:45pm Ate Weng: Wait lang ha.The messages didn't really bother me, what bothered me was the time it was received. Curiosity got the most out of me again, I browsed the sent messages:
7:21 pm: Ate Weng hatid ko muna si Mami. Babalikan kita.
7:30 pm: Papunta na po ako.7:32 pm: Nasa Sauyo na po ako, maulan eh silong muna ko.
7:43 pm: Te, san ka na nandito na ko. 7:50 pm: Nasa labas ako.The message that was sent 7:32pm was for me. He told me he was in Sauyo when the truth is he was somewhere else, picking up Ate Weng on her never ending errand. The truth hit me hard. He lied. While all I did was wait for him at 7-11, worrying my ass off, and risking my job. I remembered the times when he was also late, and he would reason out that he was caught on a checkpoint, or the tire was busted, etc. I came to the realization that all those are lies as well. He wasn't just late because of some forces of nature or bad luck, he was late because they ask him to run a few errands for them and I was stupid enough to believe him.
When he came back, I stared at him, feeling the tears welling up again.
"What?" he asked.
"You lied." I said through clenched teeth,
"You goddamn bastard, you lied to me!""What are you talking about?""How could you, you bastard!!" I'm crying again. Damn. I look ugly with swollen eyes, that's not cute.
"Calm down, what are you saying?" at first he couldn't get it but his eyes fell to my lap where his cellphone lay.
"Let me explain.""We're through. Just let me go, please.""Let me explain. You'll understand me when you're in my situation. I'm trying to divide my time between you and them. If only I can divide myself in half. I just don't want either of you mad at me." he explained, trying to hug me.
"You lied. Don't you get it? You lied to me! I thought you were different. If you can lie about these things, what more for those other things that matter most? What else are you hiding from me?" I cried out, punching his chest with my clenched fists.
Lies hurt. What difference does it make if it's a white lie? Part of it could be my fault because I'm vocal about my dislike with the way they always ask him a lot of favors that we had to give up some of our time that we should've been together. Yeah. Maybe I forced him to lie. I know I'm too demanding and I guess this is where it led me.
He begged me to give him another chance. I wanted to just let him go. I said he could go back to his life before he met me but he said there's nothing to go back to. He can no longer what his life was like before I came. He said he loved me so much he wouldn't give up on us just like that. One more chance. His birthday is this Friday, he said the best I could give him is another chance and he'll never lie again.
I'm not sure, I said I think I need time to think about it. But my defenses fell as he took me in his arms when we lay side by side on the top bunk of the bed on the boarding house. I asked him how will I ever trust him again? He said he'll earn it again, he promised, and that promise was sealed when his head went down to kiss me.
11:25 pmI snapped back to the present time when another call came. Gee, it's too early yet calls are starting to eat us up again.
Well, we didn't broke up. I gave him another chance. Tomorrow is his birthday so giving him another chance isn't that hard, besides, I love him that much. Let's just see how he'll live up to his promise.
Labels: alex, americans, lies, pink crimson, work
White Lies-Muted Pain Pt.1
07-22-2009 Wednesday
12:20amOne of the hardest thing I have to endure in the kind of job I have is that no matter how fucked up or broken I feel inside, I still have to act as if I'm completely fine, worse, I have to sound so lively over the phone when all I wanna do is sit alone, hug my knee so I can rest my chin on it and just bawl. This is one of those days when I wear this translucent mask over my face here at work, not because I want to, but because I have to.
In spite of being here, physically at work, taking everlasting calls, my mind is completely elsewhere. What happened yesterday and the day before kept on repeating inside my head, God, the thoughts are so vivid I could've sworn it's like watching a movie in front of the big screen. I don't know how I'll start to explain everything because honestly, I'm still consumed with those thoughts I can't put into words. Oh Jeez, I need to at least try, maybe it'll lessen the weight of these things on my chest.
OK..
Monday:07-20'He should be here by now..' I thought to myself as I stood in front of 7-11 in Zabarte where I'm supposed to meet Alex. I kept on checking my cellphone. No message. I reviewed the message he sent earlier, he said he's already in Sauyo when it started to rain hard so he has to stop for awhile. It's no longer raining and Sauyo is like 10 minutes away with a motorcycle so I was wondering what's keeping him.
I looked around me, trying to ignore the group of street kids that huddle on the corner, busy with God-knows-what. I'm not usually cautious nor bothered with dirty little kids high on cheap drugs but the way these street kids look at me made me feel uneasy. I was just wondering if they're considering to rob me or what but I'm not scared at all, thanks to the Police car parked just across the street. Where the hell are the parents of these kids anyway? Fuck, I don't really care, what I care about is where the hell is my boyfriend because I'm running late for work.
8:15.Shit. My shift starts at 9. I'm already sweating inside my favorite pink shirt. I'm also starting to get pissed. 8:25. I'm on the verge of crying. What if something happened to him? It's dark, it rained, the roads are slippery, the motorcycle..Oh God please not that. Don't let that happen. What's gonna happen to me if he's gone? The thought of it alone was so heartbreaking that I started to feel tears welling up in the corners of my eyes.
I started to pace around, thinking if I should just go to work but what will I do with this heavy helmet wrapped in my jacket? I thought of calling work to say I can't make it today then go home but if I do that, I'll never find out what happened to Alex. If I stay here and wait for him, what now?
The answer finally came. The moment I saw him pulled up beside the street, I ran up to him, climbed behind him on the motorcycle and cried. He looked alarmed, he kept on asking me why but I didn't answer his question.
'I'm done, take me home I want to go home, and leave that motorcycle.' I said, still crying out loud.
'No you're going to work.' was all he said and we sped away. Away from the 7-11 store and away from the grubby looking street kids whom I believe that their future has ended even before it even begin.
2:15 amOne call after the other. The peak hours of my shift has arrived and with these Americans nagging, whining, complaining and all those childish things you can think of just to get what they want from their wireless carrier, it'll be hard for me to concentrate on what I'm writing so I better save the rest of my story for tomorrows post.
Goodbye blog.
Hello Hello
Sprint world. [You can click the hyperlink so you can see the web page I usually view when I'm at work.]
Labels: alex, americans, motorcycle, pink crimson, sprint, work
