Weighing Things
07-31-2010 Saturday
She's a petite, small, demure and quiet chick who's a year younger than me. She has lived in the house for years, with her step sister, who's treating her like a housemaid. Kind of like a little Cinderella story, and she does act like a shy princess, not the whorish type who gets laid easily.
I'm thinking, why her? Or shall I be glad that it is her, the conservative type, far from being whorish?
About her looks, well, she's kinda cute I must admit. Not the cute you'd easily notice, it's the kind of looks that you will appreciate more if you stare at her long enough. Her expressive eyes are pretty noticeable, though.
I was looking at her eyes the whole time we were talking. I told her to tell me everything about the 'incident', don't hold back any piece of information from me, I have to know everything. I'm glad she did. Things became more clear.
I wondered how I managed to numb myself from feeling any pain as she told me how it all happened. Maybe it's because pain has become a regular emotion for me that I'm starting to get used to it? Yeah, maybe I think that's it.
When she's done talking, I knew my face was bland because she has this surprised look on her small face. She said she's not expecting me to take the situation lightly, I smiled at her remark.
I'm thinking, why her? Or shall I be glad that it is her, the conservative type, far from being whorish?
About her looks, well, she's kinda cute I must admit. Not the cute you'd easily notice, it's the kind of looks that you will appreciate more if you stare at her long enough. Her expressive eyes are pretty noticeable, though.
I was looking at her eyes the whole time we were talking. I told her to tell me everything about the 'incident', don't hold back any piece of information from me, I have to know everything. I'm glad she did. Things became more clear.
I wondered how I managed to numb myself from feeling any pain as she told me how it all happened. Maybe it's because pain has become a regular emotion for me that I'm starting to get used to it? Yeah, maybe I think that's it.
When she's done talking, I knew my face was bland because she has this surprised look on her small face. She said she's not expecting me to take the situation lightly, I smiled at her remark.
"You know what? With everything I've been through with Alex, it will be no surprise that I'm somehow numbed. Besides, I'm a girl like you, if I'm the one violated like that, I'd be so pissed. I wouldn't stand up for him if I know he's the one who did wrong." I said, surprised that my voice didn't falter.
Her face lightened up, "Wow, you're so kind and strong... I really don't wanna bring up this matter because we are worried about your condition..but, I.. I just need to share it to somebody...."
"I understand. If it was me, I wouldn't take it sitting down, I would fight for my right as a woman." I felt my face flush. Anger? Probably. "So what will it be?"
She looked down, "My sister told me it's either they put him to jail...or they'll ask him to leave the boarding house for good...."
"I'm okay with the jail thing." I said firmly. "If that's what needs to be done for him to learn his lesson. Besides, I don't plan on staying here anyway. I will go home once everything's settled."
She was quiet for a moment.
"Tell your sister what we've talked about today. I talked to Alex yesterday but he didn't confess anything, I'll talking to him again. In the meantime, we'll try to figure out what will be the best for everyone." those are my final words.
I felt betrayed. After hearing the whole thing straight from the horse's mouth, I have no doubt now that Alex hid these things from me. That's why he looked bothered last night. That's why he looked like he was avoiding something or someone. I am mad, I pity him, I feel bad for the girl... I'm feeling everything except for pain.
I wonder if somehow Alex has any dual personality disorder because the Alex I'm with is completely different from the Alex that they're describing to me. There's no way that sweet Alex of mine could do such obscene things. I felt his sincerity, it's impossible that he faked all the good things I've seen him do. How can these things be possible?
The answers to all my questions didn't come. I decided to get some sleep. If I continue thinking too hard, I might end up a crazybitch like my mother. Who knows, maybe the answer will come when I wake up...
Labels: alex, incident, jail, obscenities, pink crimson
posted by Monica-Lynne @ 2:35 AM
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