Remembering the Dearly Beloved

11-17-2009 Tuesday

It's just now that I'm able to get my hands on a copy of Pasugo limited edition that features everything about the late Ka Erdy, including the wake and interment that happened during the first week of September. As I leaf through every page, the life of Ka Erdy slowly unfolds again and I remember every important details that he has done for the Church to make it what it is today.

I am also able to read about the wake and the photos included in the story are as heartbreaking as the words itself. I'm reminded of what I felt when I was there, at the Central temple as part of the mourning crowd, waiting to get a final glimpse of Ka Erdy. It has only been like 2 months now since that tragic day happened but as I read the feature, the pain began to resurface again as if it all just happened yesterday.

The pictures of grieving brethrens, the long line to the Central temple, Ka Erdy's casket, the worship services in the temple, everything was captured in still motion. I am brought back to that day, I can almost see myself standing in front of the temple, crying along with everyone else. With that, I realized that the grieving is not over yet, the pain is still within us, just hidden somewhere behind our unconcious minds and one memory of that event can trigger that pain anytime.

We will never get over the loss of a beloved leader,brother, and father. It may seem like we're doing fine with our duties in the Church and we are, but still, there are moments like these, when we are reminded of what we've lost, that we let the pain linger around a little longer hoping that someday we'll eventually ran out of tears to cry. But I think, that day will never come, not in this life though.

I continue to live each day as a member of INC, I attend worship services, I am a believer, I have faith and impossible as it may be to believe for some who has known me to be a difficult cookie to deal with, I am trying to walk on the right path these days. I don't want to disappoint him in any way. I want to be there, someday, when the time comes that all of us will see each other again in the promised land. It's simply Goodbye, for now.

Labels: death, INC, Ka Erdie, loss, Pasugo, pink crimson

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 4:34 AM