Getting More Fucked Up

10-15-2009 Thursday

Yep, that's what I feel as I spend more time living in this house, and going home to a worthless bitch who can't even raise a hand to do her own laundry. I'm seriously starting to think fucked up things like her bleeding, dying, having a terminal illness and will die in a matter of weeks, or me, dropping everything at work and just running away from all of it. It's sickness, madness, and I can no longer control my anger that I'm worrying I'll just burst one day and grab her, take her into the middle of the street for all the kinds of vehicles to ran over her. That's how desperate I am to get rid of her.

Nothing seemed to work. I gave her money so she can look for a job. I sent her to a doctor, they found nothing wrong so far, she just had some dialysis like I posted previously and she doesn't have the results yet. We'll see about that, and if the doctor see nothing again, then I'm really gonna be pissed because she's obviously faking it so she can fucking lie around, doing nothing but wasting time and years of her miserable life.When the results cone out, I'll decide what to do. If she's sick, hopefully she is dying, then I'll stay here and deal with her for a couple more weeks, but if she's not, then I would really need to leave this house because I wanted to save myself before I completely lose my mind.

I hate her. That's the only feeling I have towards her. No pity, no love, no respect, nothing but hate. If you really think that I like having this feeling, guess what, you're so wrong.I feel bad about myself, I feel like I'm gonna burn in hell for this. That's why I want her gone. I want to stop feeling hate. I want to get rid of her and live happily ever friggin after. I don't see her changing anytime soon so I'd rather live without her.

It's hard because I have to deal with a lot of pressure and stress at work, that's already too much for me, so going home to see that lazyass bitch everyday is the one last thing I don't really need right now.I've been through a lot, hell I'm still going through hell to prove myself, to have a career, to have a good life and I can't focus on my goal with her fucking everything up.

A lot of people die everyday due to calamities or accidents, people who don't deserve to die, people who works hard for the family, yet she, who has no use at all, still continues to live? Something's wrong with that picture. Figure it out.

Labels: ANGER, bitch, daughter, fury, HATE, mother, pink crimson

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 4:40 AM