Sentimental Shit

07-08-2009 Wednesday

Why is that boys are not so into sentimental value of things? Do they think that it makes them less of a guy if they're too sentimental about something? Boys aren't dumb but sometimes, they act as if their brains are only a quarter of what girls have.

Up until now, I'm still pretty pissed at Alex. We had another fight yesterday, not major yet it's enough for him to leave my motorcycle devoid of fuel on our front gate, and commute on his way home without bothering to say goodbye to me or my grandma. Yeah, he's also pissed when he left.

What happened was, I earned some give aways at work. A huge umbrella, and 2 body bags. My manager told me that I can give my boyfriend the other body bag, and I smiled at the idea, remembering his torn knapsack he used to bring. He was late to pick me up but I tried to keep my cool, thinking he'll be glad to have a new bag. When we arrived at the house, I was all smiles as I handed him the bag. Imagine my surprise when his eyebrows crossed, gave me this weary look as if I'm handing him a wooden cross to carry on his shoulders and he said, "What's that for? I couldn't use that, I have no more room for that at home."

I stood still wondering if that's supposed to be a joke. It wasn't. I couldn't believe that he wouldn't even bother to be more gentle when he rejected my present for him, moreover, I was also sad because there I was trying to please him, trying to think of what I'll give him on his birthday that's coming near when in fact, he doesn't even give a damn about what I've worked hard for to get. I was thinking, if he rejected this bag, what more if I hand him his real present on his birthday come July 24th. I was angry at him, I cried and he tried to calm me down, apologized a dozen times but still, I can't just accept the fact that I was rejected.

He tried to hug me, kiss me, said sorry while I kept pushing him away, and at one point, even slapped him on the face. I guess that did it. He stood up, threw the key of my Alpha on my bed, and stormed out of the house. I couldn't cry anymore when he left. I closed my eyes, too tired to even remember what we're fighting about in the first place, and drifted away.

What I'm really mad about is Alex didn't even think of the sentimental value that bag has. I've worked hard for it. It's a giveaway to those who exceeded the given parameters at work. It may be cheap, not so fashionable or whatever but it mattered to me. It's something I earned that I wanna share with him and he's all but insensitive about the whole thing. Why is it that the guy vocabulary seemed to lack the meaning of sentimental value?

I meant to reconcile with him, of course, it's just one of those petty fights we always have every now and then. For now, I want him to think about what he did to me and I want him to appreciate the simple things I'm doing for him. He said he does appreciate, well, yeah but for a girl like me who wants all the best, I'm expecting more from the guy who said I meant the world to him.

Labels: alex, pink crimson, sentimental

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 9:24 PM