Bitter cold
01-04-2009 Sunday
Darn it. The holidays are over and the only thing that's left to remind me of the holiday season is the bone-chilling cold weather that enveloped the surrounding. It is always colder in January than it has been last December and I just heard it on the news that the cold will last until February. Great. The weather seemed to match my sentiments these days.
God, it's so damn cold outside, I need to wear thick clothing to make it alive at work. I was surprised that I did not froze to death awhile ago when I took a shower.
So yeah. After battling the cold, here I am at work battling with stress. Then when I go home later, I'll be battling with longing and I'll be downright pissed off because things don't go my way. God, there really are times when you don't realize how your life sucks until it has been shoved in your face.
This is not me. I mean, what you're reading is not written by the normally happy-go-lucky tough cookie. This is written by someone else. Someone so frustrated. Someone who's about to give up but just can't. If there's one thing that I've perfected throughout the years of my existence, it is hiding that other side of me who's weak and easily taunted. I push it far beyond my insides so that her weakness will not get in the way. Though sometimes, I can't control her when she claws her way out to the surface. She does that when things get unbearable or when I get tired pretending to be strong.
Yes I am tired. Tired and weary. I don't usually complain because if you know me personally, you're already aware that I live up to the belief that no one has the right to complain no matter what they're going through. Complaining is similar to blabbering without doing something. More talk, less thoughts. That's absolutely shitty. That's why I'm trying to stay as positive as I can be and if what I'm about to say is a complain about my stinking life, I shut my mouth and deal with it myself. It's just excruciating to sometimes deal with this alone.
Companion, anyone?
posted by Monica-Lynne @ 10:41 PM
Post a Comment