Happy Birthday Love Love
07-24-2010 Saturday
Gramma's spaghetti is still the best among others, and since I suck at cooking, I asked her to cook me a spaghetti for Alex's birthday today, to which she gladly did. I went home yesterday, and asked my gramma to join me buy some stuff that I'm gonna need this August, and to also buy ingredients for her special spaghetti. I wanted to spend more time with gramma whenever I can. It's my way of showing her that I miss having her around.
When I woke up in the morning, the smell of the spaghetti sauce drifted in the air. I inhaled the heavenly aroma, stretched and got up. I got dressed and attended the early morning worship service.
After the worship service, the spaghetti was well prepared. My gramma helped me pack the food, and the stuff we bought yesterday. I wasn't so happy walking around carrying a bunch of stuff with me but I consoled myself with thinking that Alex will be happy to have some spaghetti for his birthday. Even though I haven't picked out a gift for him yet, I hoped that the spaghetti would cheer him up. I know he's been down lately for not having a job yet, but I'm not rubbing it to his face or anything, I've learned to be more patient with that.
I arrived in Blumentritt a few minutes before 10 in the morning. I fumbled for my key, which is slightly hard to do when I'm trying to balance all the stuff I have in my hands. When I finally got it out, I slipped it into the doorknob, and pushed the door open.
For a change, the room wasn't in a total wreck. The dishes have been washed, dried and stacked up neatly. There's no stain on the floor, matter of fact, it looked like it has been sweeped clean to the point that there's not even a hint of dust on it. I smiled, finally I was able to go home on a clean room, instead of a wrecked one.
Alex was still asleep, lying face down on the bed. I set aside the stuff I was holding and knelt on the floor to gently wake him up. He opened his eyes, focused his gaze on me, as if making sure that he's no longer dreaming.
I touched his face gently and kissed him on the cheek, "Good morning love love, Happy birthday.."
He stretched out his arms to hug me, "Thank you."
"You're 26 today. That makes you officially 5 years older!" I teased. "Get up and let's eat the spaghetti."
He hugged me once more before getting up.
We shared a nice breakfast of spaghetti that my gramma cooked. I watched him eat happily. I told him that I haven't come up with a present yet so he can just let me know what he would want.
His fork hung in midair, "A tire for my mio would be nice" he said, smiling.
I rolled my eyes at him, "Hah! You wish!"
We have nothing planned for his birthday so we just stayed at home, to eat, watch TV, and enjoy the time we have together. He didn't ask for anything , he said that the food I brought him is enough and besides, he doesn't want me to spend more than what I could afford. I know he's shy to ask since he's still jobless.
We watched a couple of DVD's and both of us fell asleep halfway through the 3rd movie. It was almost 7 in the evening when he woke me up, and he reminded me that we have to go to the doctor for my regular check-up. Ok, here we go again.
After the check-up, we went back home and ate some more spaghetti. Man, I'm so full of spaghetti today. Then, we stayed outside to hang-out with thy neighbors. They sang an out of tune version of Happy Birthday and asked him if he's gonna buy some drinks tonight. He admitted he doesn't have the money, well, they knew he recently lose his job so they come up with their own money to buy beer.
Now instead of killing myself with jealousy over not being able to drink unlike before, I decided to let the guys be guys and drink 'till they get wasted. I went back to our room, turned the TV on, and tuned it to HBO. I can hear them talking and laughing loudly outside. He's with his boys, he was able to drink on his special day, he sounded happy, so yeah that's good enough for me.
I just turned the TV off when Alex entered the room. The strong smell of beer and smoke drifted and I wrinkled my nose. He lie down in bed beside me, I wrinkled my nose even more, "Gee, take a bath, brush your teeth, wash your face please. You smell awful"
He laughed, "I will." He hugged me tightly. "Love," he called seriously.
"Hmmm?" I was holding my breath.
"Thank you so much for this day."
"Are you happy?" I asked.
"Very..." he said, snuggling closer. "Because you're here for my birthday..."
"Really?"
"Really..." he tried to kiss me.
I turned away "Argh! Go take a bath!".
He stood up laughing. He grabbed the towel off the rack, fished out a cigarette stick from his pocket, put it in between his lips and went to the bathroom. That's his ritual before taking a bath-- taking a dump while smoking a damn cigarette. I wonder why I never did that before.
His birthday turned out good. And I'm happy that he's happy. Love love, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. i LOVE YOU LOTS xoxo..
Labels: alex, birthday, celebrate, cook, gramma, love, pink crimson, spaghetti
Still On the Process
06-14-2010 Monday
This may sound silly but I swear I cried after being able to fry a fish in the pan. I've been trying, for years, to get over my fear of frying fresh meat or fish in a pan of hot cooking oil. It hurts when the oil splatters out of the pan and hit you right? I hate that. Since I'm starting to learn how to cook more types of food, I figured I'll eventually get to the part when I would have to face this fear so I gathered up all the courage I have when I told Alex that I'll be preparing fish for lunch.
Good thing I remembered what my gramma taught me about cleaning the fish. It was hard, I feel a bit grossed out and I almost cut my finger but I did it. Goddamn, I did it.
I took care of preparing lunch while Alex did the laundry. When he finished, I'm already cooking the rice. We stayed in the room to rest before eating. He popped a dvd in the computer and began watching. I lie down in bed, I wasn't looking at the computer monitor, I was looking at the plate of fried fish that sat on the table beside our bed. It looks like something my gramma would prepare and when I thought about it, my eyes just leaked. I'm missing my home again. I'm missing my gramma and the food she usually cooks for me. I may be on the process of growing up away from home, and I'm trying to get used to it but sometimes, it's still hard to get by.
Alex noticed me crying and he sat on the bed, looking alarmed,
"What's wrong? Why?" he held my face to wipe my tears.
Not so Alex, I thought. When we were not yet living together, he would scold me for crying, telling me that I'm always being such a drama queen so I am surprised with the way he acts lately. It's like he's really starting to care. Well, maybe miracles do happen.
I told him I'm alright, that I just remembered something and I'm tired with the household chores. I have told him that I'm not used to doing all the work at home, he knows how I am treated when I was living with my gramma so he can definitely understand where I'm coming from.
"It's okay" he said
, "I appreciate all your hardwork, I'll make it up to you."'If you say so.' I can only say that in my head. His 'I'll make it up to you' line is something I don't really count on. He has some habits that would be hard to change, changes don't happen overnight, but it would be nice if he will start being more responsible in the house.
The rice got cooked and we ate outside the house with our adopted mate, Doraemon. It was nice to eat outside, warm and sunny, I had my one knee up and we ate with our hands, forget about utensils, those will only add up to the things to wash and clean.
Alex went to work at around 2 and I'm left at home to contemplate if I've really grown up eversince I made this decision to live alone and face the responsibilities ahead of me. I came up with a blank answer.
Seriously, what would it take for me to grow up? More cooking lessons? Attend anger management classes? It should begin with myself yeah, but I can't find the answer within me on where to begin. Help!
Labels: alex, cook, food, gramma, grow-up, living together, mate, pink crimson
Good Food, Good Weekend
06-12-2010 Saturday
After being able to cook Pork Steak and Adobo, I almost cried with joy as I consider myself genius. 2 meals that I already know how to cook and yeah right of course there's more to go but heck, it's better than nothing right? I'm no longer a dummy when it comes to cooking, hurrah! Though, I'm still saddened with the fact that I still feel tired and worn out after spending a good quality time in front of the hot stove and I seem to have lost my appetite already even before indulging in the food that I prepared myself. I've solved my problem in cooking some basic food, but my problem of getting tired remains.
It's a Saturday. It's my day off and lo, would you believe, it happened to be Alex's day off also. Woo, things like this rarely happen so after I got home from work, I prepared myself for long hours of sleep. I can let Alex prepare the food and everything, I'm dead tired from talking to some dumb people all night.
When I opened the door to our room, I turned on the lights and saw him lying on his side, hugging the pillow tightly, sleeping like a baby. For a second I envy him, he was asleep all night while I'm beaten up at work, God I really wish to have a day job. I didn't bother waking him up, I grabbed the towel hanging at the back of the door, went to the bathroom to clean up and change my clothes, then I went back to the room and lie down beside him.
It must be an hour or so that has passed when I felt him waking me up. I forced my eyes to open, and I saw him looking down at me.
"What.." I asked, my voice groggy.
"We need to line up your information for the doctor's appointment." he said.
Shoot. I forgot. I scheduled my first check up in Chinese General Hospital for this day. I cringed at the thought of going there half asleep but I dragged my ass to get out of bed.
"It'll only be a minute." he told me.
"After you filled up the forms, we'll go home and just come back later around 5 pm."Fair enough, I thought to myself.
Surprisingly, he's right. I filled up one small form and we're out. I almost crawled back home, that's how tired I am. I fell asleep again the moment my body touched the bed.
I woke up to the sound of Alex walking around the room. I opened my eyes. I saw him carrying our small pot, placed it on the floor. He went out and went back in, this time carrying our small plate that contained the Adobo that I cooked yesterday. The smell drifted inside the room and I'm suddenly hungry.
He sat on the side of the bed and gently tapped my arms, thinking I'm still asleep. I looked at him.
"Wake up and eat." he said, smiling.
"W-What time is it?" I asked him. My head hurt a bit and it's still due to lack of sleep so I thought it's still around noon.
"4:30, hurry up, we need to go back to the hospital by 5."I almost fell out of the bed,
"4:30!!? I'm asleep that long?! Why didn't you wake me up earlier?""Well, you're tired and I was out anyway." He handed me a plastic bag.
"Here's something I bought for you."I unwrapped it-- siomai! Amazing. I can't believe he's really starting to care. I gladly ate and we headed to the hospital afterward.
After the check-up, he said that Doraemon (a friend of his whom they call Yao but I prefer calling him that because of his undying love for Siopao) will be treating us to a nice dinner because his aunt sent him money. Yay, more good food for this day! We met him up at Puregold Jr. which is just across the street from Chinese General.
They bought liempo, embutido and vodka. I like hanging out with Doraemon. He likes to eat good food, and the best thing about it is he shares it with us. Alex said he's our adopted mate. He eats with us every now and then, and I got used to cooking a rice enough for three people.
When we got home, the two of them prepared the food, while I took a bath. After the preparations, we ate outside the boarding house. Ahh, good food, good company, good laughs on a good weekend.
At least good things still happen to me here. And now, GOOD..night.
Labels: alex, Blumentritt, Chinese General Hospital, cook, food, pink crimson, weekend
Working Gal
06-08-2010 Tuesday
The work never stops whether it is in the office or at home. Is this really what it's like to be a wife to someone? Ok, we're not married or anything but of course, living together means I get a glimpse of what my life would be if ever we will get married, and to be totally honest, I'm not liking it.
We both go to work, he works during the day which is the usual of course, while I work graveyard and I don't really hate graveyard shift before but now, thinking how inconvenient it is for me when it gets in the way of me trying to get work done in the morning, it makes me wish I have a regular day job as well.
I thought cooking is gonna be the hardest part.. I was wrong. Everything is hard. I should've thought of which one will be the easy part because the rest sucks. People tell me that I'm still trying to adjust to the changes of living with someone and being away from the parent who has taken care of me ever since, although I could agree with them, there's a part, a big part, inside my head that tells me this is not how it's supposed to be.
I'm not spoiled, neither was I pampered too much at home, it's just that, being a working gal is tiring enough that I wanna envision home as a place where I can do nothing but lie down in a comfy bed and sleep, then wake up to a ready to eat meal. It would've been different if I will just stay at home to take care of everything or if I have a day job.
Here I go again, putting the blame on anything and anyone but me. I know that for some people the things that I'm doing are basically normal stuff that every woman with a partner does. My colleague Elaine lives with her boyfriend as well and she seems okay with everything. She goes to work, does render overtime and whenever I text her for advice on cooking, she replies fast, it's like she never sleeps during the day but still, she looks like she has enough energy to still do more. It's not about age, that I know, she's just a year older than me.
So what is it then? Am I the only one whose not used to doing the laundry, going to the market to buy food, cooking and working graveyard all in a span of 24 hours? 24 hours seemed not enough to me lately. I barely have time to close my eyes to sleep and when I do, some idiot kid would break the peacefulness with an annoying scream.
I'd rather be in the office all day, than be a housewife in the future. Now that I'm experiencing, let's say, half of it, it makes me not want to be like that someday. It's not fun to cook meals, I get hungry even before it gets cooked and ready to eat. It's not fun to do the laundry, if you can just see my hands right now, it's peeling so bad. It's not fun to always have to think of what to cook tomorrow and the next day and the next, because it's the more I realize how dumb I am when it comes to preparing a meal.
The fun part? I dunno. You tell me.
Labels: Blumentritt, cook, housemate, housewife, living together, pink crimson
Back at It
06-05-2010 Saturday
"I'm on my way back.." I texted Alex. It was a struggle to text as I clutched the plastic bag containing the meat that my gramma has prepared before I left, my bag on my lap, the umbrella clasped between my knees and a 16 oz. Slurpee in my other hand with it's straw stuck to my lips.
I asked my gramma for instructions on how to cook a pork steak, and aside from instructions, she went ahead and bought the meat for me and prepared it so that when I go back to Blumentritt, all I have to do is cook it. She said it's raining and she doesn't want me to go to the market to buy meat. That's how much she cares for me, and seeing her care so much about me, it makes me not want to go back to Manila.
I held the plastic bag of meat tightly, I can lose my bag and everything but not this meat that my gramma prepared. Traffic is a headache. I left the house at 9 in the morning and I arrived in Blumentritt a few minutes past 11.
I walked to our room, unlocked the door with my key and surprise, I was greeted with a room that suffered from a near destruction. The floor is dirty, the unwashed plates are stacked in the corner, the chair is marked with food stains, and I'm near tears as I looked around the room, wondering where will I begin to fix the mess. I wanted to be mad with Alex but felt pity for him instead, he obviously can't live well on his own. I put down my things on the bed, and opened the pot beside our water jug. There's rice enough for me and sardines. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Alex can't cook as well, but he's worse than me.
I cleaned the room, washed the dishes, and I realized I still have to do the laundry. Ok, here goes another day for poor lil' me.
I'm back here. I'm back to doing things for myself. It's either I get used to it, or live with it till it's all over.
Labels: alex, Blumentritt, cook, gramma, homesick, pink crimson
Rest Day
06-03-2010 Thursday
I now consider going home as my rest day even though I still have to go to work in the evening. When I'm at home, I don't need to worry about cooking for myself, or going to the market to try and distinguish the difference between a fresh meat and a not-so-fresh one, or washing the dishes before taking a bath and going to work. At home, I can just wake up, smell the aroma of the food waiting for me in the dining table, eat my heart out, take a bath then off I went to work.
I ain't no princess at home, I still do some house chores whenever I can but most of the time, I'm just too beat up at work that I prefer lying in bed to rest. My gramma taught me how to cook when I was younger, but due to lack of practice, I eventually forgot and I grew up to be a 21 year old chick who has no idea at all on what goes on in the kitchen. My gramma has took care of me so much that I start to realize how dependent I've become to her.
I headed straight to our house after work and the thing that I missed the most never failed to greet me: A nice breakfast spread out in the table. My gramma has this look on her face that always means she's happy to see me again, and she missed me. Damien has the same look, plus the endless wagging tail. Do you dare ask my mom? Oh somewhere in bed, sleeping, pleased with herself.
It's never like this when I'm at home with Alex. It's not that I'm complaining with Alex, it's just that living on my own is harder than I thought it would be. My daily routine in Blumentritt is goddamn tiring. I go home to Alex sleeping and snoring, no food, nothing. I skip breakfast, took a quick shower then I sleep. I sleep for a few hours. The screaming of little children everywhere is enough to wake me up every hour. I woke up in the afternoon to go to the market and figure out what to buy, since I don't know how to cook, I usually ended up buying hotdogs, ham, you know stuff that can be fried in the pan. Then, I go home to cook. After everything is prepared I'm no longer hungry and I just force myself to eat for me not to go mad at work. I wash the dishes, clean up the room before I can finally take a bath. In short, I am dead tired even before I walked out the door to leave. Then, work drains me and at the end of the day, I kept on asking myself if I'll still make it alive.
Since there will be another worship service for Saturday, I decided to stay at home till Saturday. I texted Alex to let him know. I need the rest, goddamn it. I almost forgot how good it felt to get some rest when at home. I slept in my comfy bottom bunk of our double deck. I even missed looking out the window as I lie in bed, (in the room where I stay with Alex, there's no window..) I missed the eardrum-breaking bark of Damien whenever he sees people walking outside, I missed the sound of my gramma scolding Damien when he does that..sigh, I miss being at home.
There's no place like home? Tell me all about it..
Labels: cook, Damien, gramma, home, homesick, pink crimson
