Another Beginning

09-22-2009 Tuesday

When I went home yesterday after spending the night at my aunt's house, everything seemed normal. My mother is talking to me again, my gramma sounded happy to have me back, it's as if, nothing happened a few days ago. It's as if no hurtful words were said, no confrontations, everything was back to normal again. It has always been the case between me and my mother so it's not that surprising, but I'm still not used to simply snapping back to what it was before the ugly fight.

I'm still mad at her, yes, but the hopeful look I saw in my gramma's eyes when she saw my mom talking to me again softened me inside. If my mom can snap back to being fine with things, then so can I. I'm just hoping that she will somehow change and stop being the lazyass someone in the house.

I'm seeing positive results so far. My mother started doing the dishes this afternoon while my gramma took some rest. So far so good. It saddens me that we have to fight before she can realize what's wrong with her. Okay, I ain't perfect. I also did something wrong, I'm disrespectful to her, I'm mean and I let my temper get the best of me. I had a feeling this is not gonna last, just like before, so I'm wishing that my mom can get a job before she becomes the lazyass at home again.

As for getting a job, I'm also seeing improvements. She has managed to have contact with a former colleague, who will help her find another job. I saw her resume neatly prepared on the top of her dresser. I heaved a sigh of relief as I looked around the house that I missed having to myself and my gramma only.

Mothers are supposed to work for the family so I'm expecting for her to be that way especially now that we need money more than ever. We have a high rent to pay and I don't want to get kicked out of the house again that's why I'm doing everything I can to earn enough money. I only wish she does her part also. I wanted to be the daughter again.

This is a good start, it feels like it's the beginning again. Hopefully, it is. God, I hope it is.

Labels: daughter, gramma, home, mother, pink crimson

posted by Monica-Lynne @ 10:48 PM