After The Destruction
10-21-2009 Wednesday
I have the worst headache and my neck hurts like hell today but I try not to even think about missing work because the days that I'm absent are starting to pile up in my files and I know that despite my manager's computer skills to manipulate those absences, I could still get in trouble someday. I can just feel it.
I tried getting some sleep in the afternoon but it's not that easy when the weather is so hot that you can't just curl up in bed without perspiring. Not to mention my anger towards the bitch who continues to watch TV no matter what. Well, if I'm gonna be a talking zombie over the phone later, then so be it, I just can't afford to be absent again, simply because I have a slight hang over.
We did not drink much last night, aside from the shot of bourbon that they sell at the venue for a jaw dropping price of 80 bucks and hell, it's not worth it, I didn't even bother remember the name of it because it does nothing but gives you a kick in the head and that's it. I was looking for more of something that will lit the fuel inside my veins and make me wasted like fuck. Something like that German brandy (I think) called Jaggermeister that I tasted a few months back during another gig. That Jag is the shit.
I guess the reason for my hang over is because of the headbangin and moshing in spite of me having my menstrual period. Well, nothing's gonna stop me from going crazy, so if I have to deal with this headache and bodyache when I go to work later, then let it be this way. Anyway, I had fun last night so this is worth it.
I really need to arm myself with a bunch of 3-in-1 instant coffee, hopefully that will be enough to keep my head from hanging in the clouds while talking to some American, God I hope those caucasians will be pleasant to speak with because I'm really not in the mood to hear some ranting idiot later.
Staring in this computer screen makes my head ache more so I gotta turn this off now, I just wanna share how this hang over is such a bitch. Yeah, see you folks soon..
Labels: ARCH ENEMY, headbangin, Live in Manila, moshin, pink crimson
Arch Enemy; Fucking Live
10-20-2009 Tuesday
For most people who never liked anything loud or raw metal, this day is simply like any other day in their lives. The usual walks in the sidewalk, the tired looks as they try to catch a bus amidst the rush hour, the jeepney full of people trying to nap while on their way home, among many other usual scenario of a busy evening.
As for someone like me, who has never attended a gig for quite sometime now, I'm bouncing with excitement as I ride the bus with Meng, who's obviously as excited as me, because she never stopped asking if we're already near the venue despite the fact that we're just in Quezon city and the venue is as far as a good hour or so away. Arch Enemy will be performing live at the World Trade Center and we've waited long enough so no one can stop us this time!
While she asked for the hundreth time if we're almost there, I busied myself trying to reach my good boyfriend who never lived up to his promise again. I texted him, called him, and all I heard from him is that he'll just follow, he has some errands to do for those bitches first. Fuck those bitches, add them up on my death list, because they really want to screw up anything Alex and I have planned.
Anyway, I try not to let that incident with Alex dampen my mood for a fucking good time. If it means I have to have fun without him, then so be it. I have Meng, and one fucked up friend is enough for me.
The World Trade Center is filled with people clad in black, boasting their favorite metal bands that are printed in the front of their shirt. We waited in line to the entrance and we entertained ourselves by getting familiar with the faces around us. The calm faces that will soon be drenched with sweat from headbanging or from too much ecstasy from being exposed to too much metal music.
A lot of Arch Enemy goodies are being sold inside the venue and after getting in and buying our tickets, we took some pictures and looked around the items. Realizing that we're broke because the ticket for general admission is quite pricey, we gave up trying to find something to buy and just walked inside.
Mortal Fear is already taking the stage when we arrived. Sure they sounded so metal and all but the vocals remind me much of the foreign band, The Black Dahlia Murder so it's really nothing new to my ears. We walked as close as we could get to the stage and stayed there like calm spectators of a blockbuster movie.
Next onstage is Cavite based Bloodshedd, who has a pretty good reputation in the metal scene until Jojo, the band vocalist seemed to go over the top for the night's performance. Bad move, Jo. I mean, come on, I've seen a lot of Dimmu Borgir wannabe's with those black suits, metal studs everywhere, and the only thing that's really missing is the white face foundation. Jo has no face foundation, but the entire look is still 'too much'. Obviously, other metal fans didn't like the look either when I heard someone shout 'Tang Ina mo Jo, Ano yan! Nababaliw ka na!'
When Arch Enemy took the stage, a loud roar and applause broke out from the audience. Seeing Angela Gossow live, right there at the stage, a couple of meters away from me, is something that makes me proud to be a girl. Yeah, we kick guy's ass, metal or not so metal, we rule.
From the very first tune they played up to the very last, I was lost together with the crowd. It's better than getting drunk, better than smoking pot, hell, it's better than anything else. Heads are banging, people are moshing, and I could feel even the sweat of the guy next to the other guy beside me. This is what real music is. This is what all music should be. It doesn't always have to be as loud as Arch Enemy, but what matters is, you're able to move another person with your music, and makes them forget about anything. Besides, music is everything, like most people say, music is life, and hearing this band, who came all the way from Sweden, perform, I can testify the truth of those words.
(Forgive the fat waist, and the oily face.. Too tired to give a damn on how I look)
(Whoa, never thought they're really 'that' tall...)
(Angela and her golden blond locks..)
(My partner in crime..)
(Mi Angela!)Labels: ARCH ENEMY, Live in Manila, Metal, pink crimson
Dawning of A New Month
09-01-2009 Tuesday
It's -ber month again. It's the time of the year when most people begin doing the Christmas countdown, malls begin opening grand sales, and everyone seemed to have this foolish grin on their faces, as if they are all looking forward for the holiday seasons in spite of not having enough money to even make it throughout the year. Yep, it's almost that jolly time of the year again, I can almost hear bells jingling or is it just the screws loose inside my head?
Anyway, this should be the time of the year when I should be all giddy and join the holiday mayhem, not because I celebrate Christmas (hell, we don't have Christmas, by the way), it's simply because, it's not too bad to feel as jolly as the next guy standing next to you in a crowded mall, who takes pleasure from window shopping all the items on sale. After all, window shopping costs nothing and maybe, he's just as broke as you but his spirit keeps him high, happy and satisfied. Yeah, simple joy of life, right? It makes me wonder, if that same guy who enjoys the simple pleasures of life like I do has a family to worry about? I think he does, yes. And I wonder if he has a mother he hates so bad, he even dread the thought of coming home to? That, I don't think he does. The stupid smile on his face doesn't show that he has dealt with a mother like that.
It leaves me to be alone in this boat of misery just in time for the happiest months of the year. Aside from that one huge bummer, I'm pretty happy and contented anyway. I've never been the type of person who cries over the most shallow shit that life always throw in my face. I don't also complain. I let things happen, I do what I want to do, I believe in living life to the fullest and I've had all my share of laughter, tears, misfortunes..and so fucking on. My life has always been an open book to people close to me, though nowadays, I prefer to keep my life private.
So what do I do now? My mother is still here, being the lazyass bitch she has become, my gramma is still considering to work again, and me? I'm tired as hell to go to work but I have no choice but to drag my feet to Quezon City and work my ass off. Work is a bitch these days. The management continues to suck money that should've been in our payslips and I seriously feel like something needs to be done.
As of writing this entry, I still couldn't come up with something to do to stay away from my mother. Getting married is not on the list, by the way. Living on my own sounds good but it'll cost me an arm and a leg for sure. Staying on the boarding house again is also not an option right now since I'm still mad at Alex and he hasn't made any effort to apologize or communicate with me. That's fine with me, I want him to miss me so damn much, maybe then he'll realize how incomplete he is without me. That's what he usually says so he might as well prove it. With this things in my head, plus the fact that we're so broke we can't even afford a decent meal (cheese spread on rice again, for me..), I don't even know how I can keep my head clear.
Last night, I made a grave decision by myself. I sent a message thru Facebook to my dad, asking for a little help. I know he's somehow mad at me for not studying again this year and ever since I graduated high school, I have never asked him for any financial help. We're not on father-daughter terms for many years now, we're just two casual person who happens to be related by blood. It was very awkward for me to come up to him like that but I have to swallow every pride I have left and asked him for help. His reply is emotionless telling me that he doesn't care about what I do now and that he'll send me the money on payday. I know that for him, I looked like I only tried to communicate because I needed the money, but I ignored that too. I swallowed every bit of dignity I've kept to myself for many years now. I have no choice. No matter how many times I deny that the man is my father, I can never change that fact, and besides, he has a responsibility to send me child support money, something that he has stopped doing a long time ago.
Happiest time of the year isn't it? Come out and be happy. Let me also do my own countdown: it's now, 10 days to go before my birthday so if you wanna give me a present, better wrap it now. :)
Oooohhh lastly, lemme end this post with a good news:
ARCH ENEMY will perform here! October 20, 2009..Hooraaaah!!!
Labels: ARCH ENEMY, birthday, live, mother, pink crimson
