You have been a faithful wailing wall to me, serving me for almost two years. It had been a great ride, I definitely enjoyed every minute of it. You are a friend, and always will be, remember that.

However, I regret to say this, but I think I found a new love. Tis' the site they call Tumblr. Nothing against you my dear Blogger but it's just that, I found Tumblr a bit more...convenient for me, with it's direct application to Facebook, where I'm mostly lounging around. Sure I found a way to link this blog to my Facebook but all it does is convert my post to the notepad which is, as you can tell, not very pleasing to the eye compared to what Tumblr does, Besides, in a way, Tumblr is reminiscent of Twitter, a site I've also learned to explore recently.

Dear old friend Blogger, I could still visit you once in awhile. We can sit back and remember the good old days of me blogging on your precious page. From now on, most of my time is gonna be consumed with Tumblr, a new friend. Please don't be mad at me. You know it's not gonna work out if I'm liking something else.

Thank you for letting me share the important details of my life here. Thank you for letting me be a part of your growing site. I've closed a chapter of my life in here and I decided to start up a new one with Tumblr. New life. New webpage. New blog. That's how I wanted it to be.

Maybe someday we'll be together again... But for now, goodbye sweet Blogger.

Yours Truly,

Monica

There's two reasons why I can't go all the way back to the last two months of my new life--1.) Unlike before, I don't have the time to sit down and type. 2.) Those are like spoiled vegetables, not as fresh as they once did.

I know it's a crazy logic but I write better when something 'just happened', like a headline on the news, which is always better if it's delivered early, while the story is still going on, or the accident has just come to an end. I like my posts that way too. Always up-to-date with what I'm doing, feeling or going through right at this moment. Sometimes I can still write about things from yesterday, but most of the time, I can't. It doesn't feel the same anymore unless, I remember exactly how I think when it happened, which is not always the case.

I decided to summarize what happened after I got out of the hospital. That way, I wouldn't have to bore anyone, including myself.

--A few days after I was discharged, I was forced to go to the office to adjust my leave. Thanks to my new manager who is not as responsible as my former, I have to travel all the way from my house in Caloocan to our office in Quezon City, in pain. It's only been a few days, the wound is bitching so bad. I have no choice though, there's no one to take care of it but me. Good thing was my colleagues/friends are all there on their shift and it turned out to be quick visit for me.

--Alex decided to stay with me. He moved out of Blumentritt and relocated to our house in Caloocan. I'm glad he did. I talked to Lesbo Bitch about Alex's decision to come with me, and the most surprising thing happened when we were about to leave, she cried. Well, sorry bitch, you gotta let him go, he's no longer your slave.

--I was able to see our friends in Manila the night that we moved out of our small room in the boarding house. They were surprised by our sudden decision to leave because I didn't tell them that I plan to leave after all is said and done. But of course, they're happy for us, and they congratulated us for our new life together.

I tried to hide my sadness while I was talking to them. I'm sure as hell gonna miss these people. It has been a tough life for me, living in the boarding house and having to take care of myself, but with all of them around me, I made it. I never thought, not in a million years, that this boarding house I so hated before, will end up being one of the closest and dearest thing to me.

--Trying to adjust to the changes hasn't been easy for me. I was at home most of the time, I can't go out and when I do, it's limited to the places near the house. Alex is doing his part. Even though he still doesn't have a job yet, he's trying to make money by helping out in his friend's motorcycle shop.

--The best news I can probably share is; finally, after many months of being a useless piece of crap, my mother finally got a job. Well, it's not really a job on a company or something. She works for my gramma's brother, uhhmmm that makes him her uncle-yeah yeah, at the furniture shop. It's not much really, and she still go home every night, yet, it's better than nothing.

This whole experience had been a bumpy ride; it's hard, I'm challenged emotionally of trying to cope in my fast chaging world, and I have a lot to learn... I know I'm just getting started. The best/worst? is yet to come.

Catching up is not easy, I'm beginning to realize that everytime I find a few minutes to sit down and write. What makes it hard is that I barely have time to do that. Things have changed a lot in a matter of days and I also have some catching up to do with these said changes. Just so you know, it still hasn't sink in yet, it is there alright but the truth isn't hitting straight to the gut where I should feel it's presence. Maybe it's too early for that...or maybe I was trying too hard to feel it..maybe it will come when I'm not expecting it.

Looking back on the recent posts I've made so far, I'm now debating if I'm gonna bore everyone with the details of my 2 days stay at the hospital or should I settle with sharing what was going on inside my head during those days. Both details are boring anyway, but you gotta understand I have to write something down, alright? I will choose the latter.

I lie on my side in the hospital bed, still in pain while waiting for sleep to come. I wanted to ask for a stronger painkiller but when I tell the nurses how painful it is, they seem to not really care so I shut my mouth and when I'm not talking, my mind does the thinking. With all of the lights in the ward still on overnight, the nurses checking my vital signs every three hours or so, and the humid temperature in spite of the electric fans blowing from every corner of the big room (Yeah, I can't afford a private ward), I know it's gonna be impossible for me to sleep.

Alex sat beside the hospital bed. My gramma and mom left to rest for the night then come back tomorrow to bring me some decent food (the food on the hospital isn't bad but it's not terrific either) and some clothes to change into. I told him to get some rest but he said he's not sleepy, it looks like he doesn't plan on getting some sleep. O-kaay,

He went to the boarding house earlier to pick up some important stuff that we've forgotten when we rushed here yesterday, like my health card, socks (mom insisted I need a pair), extra cash, and cellphone chargers. When he came back, I asked him if our friends and neighbors were there, he said some of them were and he told them the news. Thinking of our friends in Manila made me sad. Since this is all over, I can now go home to gramma and I'm so happy to be back there but of course, I'll be missing those guys. Even though living on my own in Manila was tough and I get homesick often, those wonderful people helped me get through the rough times. I owe it to them, I wanted to see them, every one of them, before I move back home.

I looked at Alex who was busy recording the stupid sound in the hallway with his cellphone. It's a noise that sounded like the squeak of a basketball player's rubber shoes kissing the floor when they run in the court. He has this boyish smile on his face as he ran up to me and ask me to listen to what he has recorded. I gave him a pained look. He can kill boredom whatever way he wants to,and he looked engrossed in what he's doing to pass time that he didn't care if it made him look silly. Or, come to think of it, he might not be aware of what he looked like, anyway.

Then, I thought if the very last serious conversation we've had. He's gonna come with me? With my mom and gramma? He looked like he meant it but don't all people look like that when they wanna run away from something? In his case, he doesn't wanna be put to jail when I leave him. I think it's better for me to think of it that way rather than hope for us to be together for good.

This thing being over happened too soon. Why we were just talking about it yesterday morning after I got home from work and we haven't come up with a solid plan yet when things turned around only a few hours later.

This could mean goodbye for us. I wanted to talk to him about it, but it doesn't feel like the best time for it, besides, talking makes the pain more intense so I kept my mouth shut and waited for the morning to come.

In conclusion, my time in the hospital was spent thinking and waiting.