The Day After
09-30-2010 Thursday
Catching up is not easy, I'm beginning to realize that everytime I find a few minutes to sit down and write. What makes it hard is that I barely have time to do that. Things have changed a lot in a matter of days and I also have some catching up to do with these said changes. Just so you know, it still hasn't sink in yet, it is there alright but the truth isn't hitting straight to the gut where I should feel it's presence. Maybe it's too early for that...or maybe I was trying too hard to feel it..maybe it will come when I'm not expecting it.
Looking back on the recent posts I've made so far, I'm now debating if I'm gonna bore everyone with the details of my 2 days stay at the hospital or should I settle with sharing what was going on inside my head during those days. Both details are boring anyway, but you gotta understand I have to write something down, alright? I will choose the latter.
FLASHBACKS PART 3
08-12-2010 Thursday
I lie on my side in the hospital bed, still in pain while waiting for sleep to come. I wanted to ask for a stronger painkiller but when I tell the nurses how painful it is, they seem to not really care so I shut my mouth and when I'm not talking, my mind does the thinking. With all of the lights in the ward still on overnight, the nurses checking my vital signs every three hours or so, and the humid temperature in spite of the electric fans blowing from every corner of the big room (Yeah, I can't afford a private ward), I know it's gonna be impossible for me to sleep.
Alex sat beside the hospital bed. My gramma and mom left to rest for the night then come back tomorrow to bring me some decent food (the food on the hospital isn't bad but it's not terrific either) and some clothes to change into. I told him to get some rest but he said he's not sleepy, it looks like he doesn't plan on getting some sleep. O-kaay,
He went to the boarding house earlier to pick up some important stuff that we've forgotten when we rushed here yesterday, like my health card, socks (mom insisted I need a pair), extra cash, and cellphone chargers. When he came back, I asked him if our friends and neighbors were there, he said some of them were and he told them the news. Thinking of our friends in Manila made me sad. Since this is all over, I can now go home to gramma and I'm so happy to be back there but of course, I'll be missing those guys. Even though living on my own in Manila was tough and I get homesick often, those wonderful people helped me get through the rough times. I owe it to them, I wanted to see them, every one of them, before I move back home.
I looked at Alex who was busy recording the stupid sound in the hallway with his cellphone. It's a noise that sounded like the squeak of a basketball player's rubber shoes kissing the floor when they run in the court. He has this boyish smile on his face as he ran up to me and ask me to listen to what he has recorded. I gave him a pained look. He can kill boredom whatever way he wants to,and he looked engrossed in what he's doing to pass time that he didn't care if it made him look silly. Or, come to think of it, he might not be aware of what he looked like, anyway.
Then, I thought if the very last serious conversation we've had. He's gonna come with me? With my mom and gramma? He looked like he meant it but don't all people look like that when they wanna run away from something? In his case, he doesn't wanna be put to jail when I leave him. I think it's better for me to think of it that way rather than hope for us to be together for good.
This thing being over happened too soon. Why we were just talking about it yesterday morning after I got home from work and we haven't come up with a solid plan yet when things turned around only a few hours later.
This could mean goodbye for us. I wanted to talk to him about it, but it doesn't feel like the best time for it, besides, talking makes the pain more intense so I kept my mouth shut and waited for the morning to come.
In conclusion, my time in the hospital was spent thinking and waiting.
Labels: alex, Bernardino General Hospital, nurse, pink crimson, sleep, ward
The Essence of Being Sick
07-14-2009 Tuesday
Things didn't turn out as I planned them yesterday. For one, I wasn't able to go to SM Fairview. Two, I wasn't able to go to work that night because I spent the entire evening at Bernardino General Hospital, a Philhealth accredited hospital filled with stupid people wearing white gown. They call themselves nurses/pharmacists, I call them stupid.
When I got home after getting my hair straightened, I ate my lunch, brushed my teeth, and planned to take a nap before going to SM. I lie in bed, fell asleep and when I woke up at around 5, I have a fever again. My gramma got worried since I've had the fever since Friday, so she said we need to go to the hospital.
We arrived at Bernardino Gen. around 6:30. I was assisted the moment we got there. A goodlooking nurse took my temperature, which is a bit awkward cause he had a hard time shoving the thermometer in my armpit, then he checked my blood pressure, asked me about my fever blah blah. I gave him brief answers and he casually wrote it down on my records. He told me to wait for my name to be called and he went to assist another patient.
Boy, we did wait. He should've gave us a heads up that when they say wait, the timeframe for wait is at least an hour. We sat on the long green chairs that lined the hallway. It was tiring enough to see people walking around, people shuffling their feet or twiddling their thumbs as you sit beside them on that long chair, and it was unpleasant to smell the whiff of sickness in the air. For me, the smell inside a hospital is always associated with being sick. Waiting in line to be treated by a doctor is another thing. It will just worsen the patient's condition, ask anyone who went to that hospital.
At exactly 7:30pm, my name was finally called. The doctor, in a peculiar way, looks like the goodlooking nurse who assisted me when I first came in or maybe it was just caused by my fever or the fact that I didn't wear my contact lens so I don't have the clearest vision that night. He did the usual check-up, asking of questions, and so so then concluded that I need to get my blood and urine checked just to be sure since I've had the fever since Friday. Good thing it was all covered by my Medicard; these are the times when I'm really thankful for my job benefits.
Again, we waited for the Laboratory folks to call my name. It took us another couple of minutes, sitting on that green chairs that make me sick just by looking at it. I thought hospital stuff are supposed to be white? Blankets, beds, tables? So what's up with the seaweed green line of chairs on the long narrow hallway? It hurts my head more to think.
Finally, a small lady in a pink (Honest, it's pink) nurse gown called me from the Laboratory room. I got up and walked towards her, my gramma trailing behind me. She was asked to wait outside as the nurse started preparing the needle. Oh how I hate having to be taken a blood sample. As the needle pricked my skin, I looked away and I caught sight of a poster on the wall which said
" Save lives, Donate Blood. July 22, 2009 Bernardino Gen. Hospital".
'Huh' I thought to myself,
'Mock me, I'll never donate a blood. It's enough to have a few taken from me so I'll pass'. After that, they let me pee on a small plastic cup and I'm done.
The laboratory results came out after almost 45 minutes of irritating wait. That was around 10:00pm. The lady in pink handed me the results and told me again to 'wait for my name to be called.' I heard her clearly when she told me to wait because I will be called again.
And again, we waited. My gramma is starting to feel dizzy, seeing all those people walk in and out, and having to smell combined scents of sweat, medicine, and strong perfumes. I was getting frustrated of having to sit and wait. I stood up, walked around, making sure my feet were dragging to show how pissed I am at everyone on that crappy hospital. My gramma decided to ask another nurse to check if my records were already inside and behold! We're supposed to hand those results back inside after we got it and not fucking wait with those papers in our hands. Now, here comes the good part, we wasted an hour waiting for nothing.
We were particularly mad at that small bitch in pink nurse costume. This is her fault. How can someone be so stupid to work at that place?
Even though we're tired of waiting and pacing around that stinking hallway, we have no choice. We needed to know the results and I need to get a medical certificate since I can no longer come to work.
The laboratory result showed there's nothing wrong with me, just a couple of low blood something. The doctor didn't explain it in jargon but I was too tired to understand anything. All I know is that I need to take a couple of antibiotics and cough/cold relief and I will be good as new.
That long night ended with both me and my grandma still fuming and cursing the laboratory bitch. We were home by 11:45pm.
Conclusions for the day: a.) I'll never go back to that hospital again.
b.) Not everyone who wears a nurse gown is useful to a patient, some of them is just a pain in the ass.
Labels: Bernardino General Hospital, hospital, nurse, pink crimson
